9th : foundation years end.

after nearly a week, i've returned home, i remember the campus back. laugh at me.

when i look at hills, i say, 'beautiful'. another me says, 'i can see these amazing creatures there'.

when i hear others talking, 'English people are bla3.. bla3...'. another me says, 'i've learnt about them there'.

comparing between being at home and there.

and, guess what, one day; 24 hours after i returned, i texted my tutor telling her that i already home.
one, i once acted rude to her. i still can feel the sins strangling my soul. two, my beloved SS lecturer knew about my early homecoming, it's just unfair to my tutor. she should know first and know from me, not others.

one week has passed already. the extra days for my break.

this time, the break is much different from the previous. why? my classmates and i don't have extra homework from our lecturers! what a relief. grr.

my English is not really good and becomes rusty these days. grr.

thus, the extra work for us is to improve ourselves.

less reading. less writing. less talking. less listening. in English. really gonna kill me next year.

therefore, i've to read, write, talk (this is hard here -.-), and listen in English more.

all the best. :)

8th : FAQs.

FAQs? F. A. Q. stands for?
wait a. i google for it.
frequently asked questions. when i go back to my hometown. or meet people that had has been in my life before. he.
1. where are you studying?
me: IPG.... bla3... kampus bla3... pulau pinang... bukit mertajam, seberang perai... near kulim. refer: 1st entry
2. your course?
me: TESL pendidikan rendah. not flying. in Mareshia.
in heart: shame. shame. my speaking is not that good-as everyone expects for TESLians yet.
currently: insya Allah until degree if i pass my foundation year...
3. how many years?
me: 5 years and half; foundation year: 1 year and half, degree: 4 years.
currently: insya Allah. if i manage to pass in the end of this year...
*cinta hakiki is playing*
4. do you get allowance? scholarship or loan? how much?
me: yada. i do. scholar... maybe. but if we finish our studies, we need not to pay lah. -.- P&C
currently: where can i get hundred thousands of RM to pay back to the govt eh?

5. before that you were at APIUM, right?
me: yup. just a month. exactly a month. June 8th i registered. July 8th i 'checked out'. and 2nd intake student.
in heart: clicks? pain?
*dunia baru islam is playing*
F.U.R. frequently unasked responses. ;p
1. teacher gonna be la ni...
me: insya Allah.
*song of innocence is playing*
2. sure tere speaking ni... you can teach me English lah...
me: no lah. insya Allah.
in heart: ilmu kena kuasai! T.T
3. like medical students... lama.
me: oh. ha a.
in heart: i won't feel that neglected la when i grad in future. they grad, i grad. he.
*tekad is playing*
4. whoa~
me: that money we used for... not going anywhere pun...
in heart: clicks? pain? oucha...
currently: teachers in other countries used their own money to get their certificates...
5. why?
me: many versions of story... ;p
later; when i checked my journal, i was hoping to pass the interview. '__'
*healing is playing*
- surely you have many break~ school holidays!
me: no lah.
- o yes. there are many school holidays.
me: yada. but i can't visit my school when i go back for my break. like U students. furthermore my study place has diff weekend-days with my own state.
in heart: i think that's better b'coz i can avoid visiting them at that place...? =.= mixed feelings.
*will you hate me is playing*
- you have job opportunity and assurance (?.?).
me: smile.
in heart: taqdir is His hand. the future is His right.
*kasih sayang is playing*
other FAQs;
- is the course hard?
me: quite hard la. moreover, like my institute, we're the first batch. bla3....
currently: there's no easy things la. we ourselves must be patient and never give up...

-----------------------------------------------

my comments? hurnm. University students got a straight two-three-five months break~ :D

*dunia baru islam is playing* again.

nothing much.

am i really want to be a teacher?

ain't that passionate. kot.

my other self wants to be a teacher.

because she know her aims well.

she's clear about her vision.

me?

feel like things i want aren't here, the place i'm standing now.

*khabar iman is playing*

this 3rd sem, quite ups and down like a tsunami wave lah.

if it's illustrated in a graph, the graph is fluctuated. -.-

and until now before the raya break, i wasn't that energetic to make it a gradually increasing graph.

bintang yang dilangit pun berguguran...

giving up?

no supporting antibiotics?

inadequate supplements?

feeling like putting my head on the table and won't look around anymore.

ibu kehilangan anak dikandungan...

hm. no doubt that i'd learned many things through this 1 year.

hm. but the sweetness is getting bitter day by day...

and yet i love Atticus. falling in love with Atticus Finch.

*song of innocence* again.

;p this entry has no cohesion at all. ;p

hope that i will do good in my final in next nine weeks.

self, PUSH and ASAP.

smile.

26. All that is on earth will perish:
27. But will abide (for ever) the Face of thy Lord,- full of Majesty, Bounty and Honour.
28. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
29. Of Him seeks (its need) every creature in the heavens and on earth: every day in (new) Splendour doth He (shine)!
30. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
31. Soon shall We settle your affairs, O both ye worlds!
32. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

Surah 55. Ar-Rahman (The Beneficent, The Mercy Giving)

7th : have a look.

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/201/c/0/Because_he_is_a_muslim____by_Nayzak.swf

credit to k.ummu. :)

6th : EOTO / E1T1.

just came back from Seberang Jaya for Each One Teach One programme. it's a volunteer programme and i am one of the voluntary teachers.
although the programme is called as Each 1 Teach 1, the thing is not really like that. hah.
last week was my first time teaching those needy students. needy here, doesn't mean they're that poor, but it does seem like that.(argh! i don't know) they live in flat houses; 20 above floors. (urgh. i'm stuck. where are my words!!) in the previous week, i went there with two friends; Israa and Liza. today, i managed to go there alone. i had to go because i had promised two kids to make their family tree. i made family house though. haha.
it's not easy as ABC's. i was the only volunteer came for today. thus, i had to control all of them instead of two kids i'd taught last week. luckily i'd one extra manila card.
but then, there were more of them came. o my. i was like... what's gonna happen now? i am not that capable dealing with primary school students.
okayh.

no more sentences for this entry.
omo... just pray for me to memorise my script for Macbeth dramatisation soon. wargh~ i'm freaking out. what is more, i'm gonna be a debater for Bahasa Melayu in a debate competition very soon too. =.=

look at the pictures below. please leave your comments. ^.^
video is deleted for certain reasons.

thank you!

5th : will you help me?

:)
WARNING : only if you don't have any other important thing to do. ^.^
please listen to the nasheed below and catch the lyrics. :)

parts of the lyrics that i can catch are
Laa ilaaha illallah
Muhammadurrasulullah
'alaihi solatullah
wa alihi wal ahibba'

shine your mercy like the sun
and be gracious as the earth
let your kindness come
like rain care not whom it falls upon
and let deep ocean .....
....... in peace
....
be like al-habib
and in your deepest need
and in your deepest grief
call...... him in humility
..........
to whom creation turnsyou'll find .....

be a blazing fire of truth
be a soothing ... peace
with the light of your sinceritybreak the cloud of tyranny let your faith be like a blessed tree
give your shades to all who seek
may your root...
take your strength from al-habib

ya nabi salam 'alaik
ya rasul salam 'alaik
ya habib salam 'alaik
solawatullah 'alaik

... will bring tranquility
contentment ... Allah decree
... comes
be patient....
someday you will return to Him

...company
of the....
through their gaze
and through your love for them
may...
...
...
let your heart and soul be...
...

and stand before Allah
like nothing has exist
and worship Him like you are seeing
be with .... all creation
........

yet when you master all of this
forget not your .....ness
worried not for Allah's grace
none of this can be achieved
so be humble as the lonely earth
that all creatures walk upon
be a slave of the Most Merciful
take your light from al-habib

so shine your mercy like the sun
send your light across the earth
let your kindness flow like riversquench the flows for all who come
and let mountain strong your spirit bebut your heart melt out of love for him
take the road that leads to him
may you be with al-habib

thank you. :)

if you want to say, this entry should not be posted, then, just write in the comment box. :)
*updated : 100918, 9 syawal 1431
**updated 110922, 24 Syawal 1432
Laa Ilaalaillallah
Muhammadun Rasulullah
Alaihi Salaatullah
Wa Aalihi wal Ahibaa\'
(Chorus x2)

Shine your mercy like the sun
And be gracious as the earth
Let your kindness come like rain
That cares not whom it falls upon
And let ocean deep your wisdom be
Your heart a lantern spreading peace
Give yourself in love of Him
Be like Al-Habib

And in your deepest need
And in your deepest grieve
Call on Him in humility
Place your trust in the One
To whom creation turns
You\'ll find redemption and find peace

Chorus x1

Be a blazing fire of truth
Be a soothing balm of peace
With the light of your sincerity
Break the clouds of tyranny
Let your faith be like a blessed tree
Give your shade to all who seek
May your roots run true and deep
Take your strength from Al-Habib

Ya Nabi Salaam Alaik
Ya Rasul Salaam Alaik
Ya Habib Salaam Alaik
Salawatullah Alaik

And know that certainty
Will bring tranquility
Contentment with Allah\'s decree
Give thanks for all that comes
Be patient and know that
Someday you will return to Him

Chorus x1

Hold fast to the company
Of the folk of certainty
Through the gaze and
Through your love for them
May you be as one of them

Be as gentle as the whispering breeze
Spread solace to the world we\'re in
Let your heart and soul be mirror clear
Give life and love to Al-Habib

Ya Nabi Salaam Alaik
Ya Rasul Salaam Alaik
Ya Habib Salaam Alaik
Salawatullah Alaik

And stand before Allah
Like nothing else exists
And worship Him like you are seen
Be with all creation
In all your deeds and words
As though you have no self to please

Chorus x1

Yet when you master all of this
Forget not your neediness
Were it not for Allah\'s grace
None of this can be achieved
So be humble as the lonely earth
That all creatures walk upon
Be the slave of the most Merciful
Take your light from Al-Habib

So shine your mercy like the sun
(So shine your mercy)
Send your light accross the earth
(Send your light)
Let your kindness flow like rivers
(Let your kindness flow)
Quench the thirst of all who come

And let mountain strong your spirit be
But your heart melt out of love for Him
Take the road that leads to Him
(Take the road)
May you be with Al-Habib

Ya Nabi Salaam Alaik
(Ya Nabi)
Ya Rasul Salaam Alaik
(Ya Rasul)
Ya Habib Salaam Alaik
(Ya Habib Salawatullah Alaik)
Salawatullah Alaik
x2
credits: http://www.mynasheeds.com/listen/409/talib-al-habib-alhabib/

4th : Rewards aplenty in the interior.

Sunday March 14, 2010
Rewards aplenty in the interior
TEACHER TALK
By NITHYA SIDDHU
Instead of shying away from serving in rural schools, young teachers should take pride in nurturing and guiding their charges who look up to them as a source of inspiration and hope.
TEACHERS may be required to undergo three to five years of compulsory postings to rural areas and the interior, says the Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin in a report published by The Star earlier this month.

When I read the details of the proposal, I thought it was high time this mandatory requirement was put into practice.

Young teachers must remember a few things – the day you choose to enter the profession, you ought to understand its first basic tenet, which is to SERVE the children of this nation.

No matter where they are, or of what race, gender or economic status, they need your attention.

Lest you think that I am talking through my nose, I must tell you that I have served in many rural schools in my 25 years of teaching.

Yes, children in these schools may sometimes wear uniforms that may reek of smells from the river water, or may barely have had breakfast before they trudge miles to school, or have no money to buy even a pen.

But, they are Malaysian children and they deserve a rightful place in schools, and they deserve our consideration and concern.

Please do not set their needs aside. Among them, I have found creative, intelligent and curious minds just waiting to be guided and encouraged to expand.

I have found them eager, interested and in need of attention and acknowledgment.

When I think of all the rural school students I have taught, what comes to my mind is the way they looked up to me for inspiration and hope.

When you teach them well, and show them you care, they, in return, will show their appreciation and enthusiasm in learning.
Be committed
”With intention comes attention,” so says Oprah Winfrey. And I truly believe this — if you want a child to bloom and become aware of his full potential, it always begins with the right intention and a genuine degree of commitment on your part. Forget your prejudices and just serve.

Yes, I do agree that while you are in the interior, you may feel the lack of many of your home’s comforts and practical amenities, but don’t forget that many of the children you are entrusted to teach come from homes that are far less privileged.

Regular schooling and having teachers who care are the benefits of a good education for them.

You are the key to this. It is you who will open up their minds to allow them to envision a better future for themselves.

Even as you sigh, don’t lose sight of the fact that not only will you be paid a hardship allowance while you serve them, but remember, you are also one of those who belong to a profession that accords you many weeks of school holidays.

You can always go home during these breaks and get over your homesickness — but what chance do the kids you teach have of ever knowing a life other than what their little village offers them?

I think if new teachers are told right from the very beginning that they must do a rural stint, and that this stint is part and parcel of their teaching contract, then we can put an end once and for all to the many problems and “sob stories” that newly-graduated teachers come up with as to why they cannot be posted to places far away.

There are also many who buy themselves a ticket out of the kampungs they are sent to serve in, by getting married.

Imagine if soldiers or doctors refused to serve in the interior? Wouldn’t you think them selfish and concerned only about their own comfort at the expense of those who really need their services?

Come on, it’s sheer hypocrisy when thousands of young people fill in applications to be teachers every year, but start whining the minute they get their teaching posts.

When I think of this compulsory rural posting proposal, I’d like all new teachers to think of the services of Rotary Clubs.

I’m not a Rotarian, but as a teacher, I can appreciate the fact that Rotary Clubs are service clubs whose purpose is an altruistic one.

Like teachers, they are supposed to provide “humanitarian service”.
Being selfless
Rotary’s best-known motto is “Service above Self”, and its secondary motto is “They profit most who serve best”.

If you ever wondered why teaching is considered a noble profession, give some thought to these two mottos.

I strongly feel that teachers should be sent to rural outposts, but they should not be left to teach in these areas for a long time and then conveniently forgotten.

NUTP secretary-general Lok Yim Peng made it clear about this when she spoke on the subject recently.

Her request that the Education ministry has a fair rotation system when implementing rural service is not only timely, but also necessary and reassuring.

On a personal note, I must say that one of my best memories was in the early eighties when I was teaching in a quiet riverside town.

While travelling back home on a jeep through the rough laterite roads between Sandakan and Bukit Garam in Sabah, a villager suddenly appeared in the middle of the road and frantically waved at me to stop.

Not knowing what to expect, I cautiously pulled up my vehicle to the side and lowered the glass window, only to find the excited villager holding a large plastic bag of river prawns that he presented to me!

“Untuk Cikgu (for you teacher),” he said simply.

On the journey back, the live prawns twitched and writhed in the plastic bag, but my heart — it sang all the way home.

Yes, appreciation comes in different forms, and the rewards are aplenty when you serve in the backwaters.
source : The Star

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well. this article encourage me to have more passion in this field. not just to teach the next generation i'm gonna teach, but educate them and be a good role model. and i know, currently, i am role model to my younger sister and younger-little brothers. 
when i'm thinking about teaching primary school kids, my little brothers 'show' themselves in my mind. yada. it starts from home. it begins in me! 
i have my own aim by throwing myself into this field. although i have other choices before, i still choose this path. yeah. quite half-hearted at the beginning, but i remind myself to do my best in everything. it will be asked for responsibility later, at 'there' the permanent world. 
i have my own vision. i have my own mission. not that strange as all my sisters and brothers who are muslims also have the same vision. for this perfect way of life. 
myself, all the best. keep praying and asking for the best. not just for myself, forget not the others. :)
i do love reading teacher talk and anything about teachers. ^.^

3rd : L.O.V.E

Let your love flow
TEACHER TALK By NITHYA SIDHHU
It is not love and romance alone, but the tenderness, warmth and concern we show one another that makes Valentine’s Day extra special.

Today is the day I marry my friend,

The one I laugh with, dream with,

Live for. Love.

THE above words were printed on the front of a wedding card I received in November last year. The card was stark black, with a red floral design on it. Inside, the invitation touched me even more as it stated “please join the couple for a celebration of love, friendship, laughter and family; to celebrate new beginnings, new dreams and most importantly, new love.” How sweet!

There’s something extraordinary about the month of February that I cannot shake off — it is the celebration of Valentine’s Day and the love that is expressed in a variety of ways. There are cards, roses and wine, not forgetting the candle light dinners and walks along the beach or in the park on a moonlit night. Romantic, you say? Well, why not?

To me, the celebration of love only highlights how important and significant this emotion is. If we could only shrug off our prejudices and insensitivities, we would immediately find ourselves living in a much better world.

Love is prescribed as an antidote to life’s problems, but how many people choose to follow the path of love, warmth, encouragement, sincerity and forgiveness? Not many I tell you.

Taunting teachersAnd, some of these culprits are, sadly, teachers. Yes, such teachers do exist – individuals who hurt and instigate animosity.They do this either by their words or their actions, and they have it in them to taunt, abuse, humiliate and reduce to tears their young charges, whose spirit they are supposed to nurture and nourish.

I am usually upset when I hear of stories of such teachers because they have chosen to ignore their true calling and vocation, and have instead, taken it upon themselves to believe that because they are in a position to torment, they should. Where does love reside in such people?

They say “home is where the heart is”, and to me, my school — the place where I work — is my second home, and another place where my heart is.

I know this may seem strange to some, but to me, I just have to take one look at the parents who are waiting outside the school gates everyday to know this: if you show their kids some love at school, they would be grateful to you.

You see, just stepping into the classroom and teaching your bit for the day is not the same as being really there for your students.

You may think that students need you only to be a good mentor, and to teach them until they fully grasp a topic.

However, in reality, many of them appreciate a friendly face, some understanding and encouragement.

It is true that some students have everything going for them at home and lead well-balanced lives.

For these students, their teacher may be of secondary importance. But there are others who may not lead such happy and settled lives at home, and they are the ones who crave for love and affection, a kind word, a pat on the back and a definite leg-up.

A young teacher recently told me about her days in school and recalled a particularly disturbing period in her life.

“I was in Form Five when I went through a difficult time. My father had passed away and my mother went into a period of grief and I couldn’t turn to her at all. I began to mix with a new crowd of idle students at school. My grades were slipping and I was, myself, filled with inner turmoil.

“It was my history teacher who was quick to notice the change in me. She came into my life when I most needed someone to talk to and guide me. If it had not been for her timely intervention and help, I would not be who I am today.”

Lasting impressions

The young teacher said: “As an educator now, I know that I have to be compassionate — a teacher who must be firm, yet kind — someone who can advise and bring change without punishing the student.”

Frankly, I was moved. She was young, yet she had set her sights on the right track.

All it took was just one teacher who left a lasting impression on her and who changed her outlook towards life. The History teacher had brought out the best in her.

It is easy to say that teachers must touch minds and hearts, but not many have that Midas touch. However, teachers who inspire and motivate do make that vital difference in a young person’s life.

So, this Valentines’ Day, as people all over the world celebrate love, ask yourself this: How loving and concerned a teacher are you?

Think about it. You stand before a class of young students but do you destroy their enthusisam and spirit, or do you help restore and revive them constantly?

I once knew a teacher, who, upon finding out that she was posted to a school that had a majority of orang asli children and pupils from plantations, said that it was pointless teaching them as they were a bunch of “illiterate fools!”

I was flabbergasted; she could do with a lesson on tolerance, understanding and love and yes, so can all of us!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!
Source : The Star
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
as a muslim teacher trainee, i'm not encouraging you, readers to celebrate this Valentine's Day. but, read the above article. i'm touched. well, admitting that one of the reason i'm throwing myself into this field; teaching, is to build  loving character in myself. 
Abi Hurayrah (r) said, and these are all authentic ahadith, qabal an-nabi al-hasan wa ali, aqra` ibn al-haabis, “He (Prophet) was sitting and he kissed (his grandson) al-Hasan, and one leader of the people was present and he said, `indee `asharan min al-walad lam aqbal minhum ahad, “I have ten children, Yaa Rasulullah, and I never kissed one of them in my life.” (And Prophet [s] replied,) man laa yarham laa yurham, “Who doesn’t have mercy for people, Allah will not have mercy for him.”

this thing affects me so much. huhu.

i can't write more. i can't focus. :)