12th : what a day.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

By (the Token of) Time (through the ages), Verily Man is in loss, Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. (surah 103, Al-'Asr: 1-3)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Have We not expanded thee thy breast?-And removed from thee thy burden The which did gall thy back?- And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard, And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention. (Surah 94, Al-Inshirah: 1-8)


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

:D i've typed the phrase in arabic font!! :)

what a day.

it's the other half of 2nd semester of degree.

my weakness of this semester that still isn't be cured is LAZY or ELEVENTH HOUR habit.

if in foundation years, i submitted my assignments late but still on the deadline, in this first year of my degree study, i'd submitted one day late. okay. this is not the first time. ain't proud of it by typing it in this blog, i know i'm like intentionally telling the whole world 'bout my bad side.
yes. AM intentionally write this outta here. it's for me so that i WON'T REPEAT this repeated mistake again. so that, next time i will be writing, I'M DONE WITH MY ASSIGNMENT ONE WEEK EARLIER! oh. how i wish i will be telling ya that!

know what, i'd tried my best to do those things i mentioned above earlier. i even been wet with the water from my eyes because of the mind stuck i could not type even a word after reading the materials from many sources, after been discussing with my circumstances.... u'd know how it felt? nah if u never gone thru it. yada. AM EXPLAINING things. why should i explain these to you? naah. i just wanna let this out of my mind and so it will be a force for me to take an action for the better move. deny. deny. deny.

today i just feel like tonnes of load have been removed from my shoulder. uhf. yet there're more loads waiting to be loaded in the trucks for this shoulder. i pray that i will be tough enough to hold this load.

SBE. did i ever tell ya here about my school-based experience?

okay. today i feel like typing it.

the first experience was in the previous March.
the fate was that i arrived late at school every morning. only on the last day, i managed to reach the school 5 minutes earlier than the school time. that week, it was fated that my mother was not home... as the only eldest child and a sister, i was like replace my mother. heh. i wasn't replacing her, just do some of the routine that usually done by mother. my routine that week was: woke up-drove the younger brothers to school-went to the school for my SBE-fetch the brothers-return home after got something for lunch-self service-ready for dinner-things to be done for SBE-alpha wave... this routine.. what i can say, it's tiring. that week, i was quite exhausted. ha. ha. i was like, how would i be in the future? and, mother is very tough at heart...

the second experience was last week.
if in March i drove and fetch my younger brothers who're in primary school, this time i'd be a driver to my younger brothers in secondary schools. but this time, i only sent both of them and only fetch them when i needed to do so. this was due to the different school-timing.... i could return home at 1.15p.m, and the two brothers only can go back about at 4. (what was more excruciating that they must be in the school at 7.45a.m. and i at 7.30a.m.) i wouldn't wait! of course... yada. selfish. and yet i'd to fetch mother and those at the primary school.
this time, the routine is not persistent like the March one. hu. and, praise be to Allah that my time used was more efficient than the previous one. =) i managed to had a plan for SBE... hm. only that part is okay. the mood wasn't that pleasant. i was bored of the school routine... that was also one of my feedback to the headmaster on the last day of SBE. his respond was, "how are you gonna be a teacher in the future?" and yes, i was asking myself that question too! my resolution for this inquiry is that, purify my intention. i'm a muslim. i know what i'm doing.
on the last day, that school held Majlis Restu Ilmu for standard 6 pupils. yada, those standard 6 pupils have finished their UPSR examination today. almost all teachers involved in the ceremony. thus, my SBE friends and i had to relief class for a while until that thing end. i was given a standard 2 class to be taken care of. but the class i was supposed to be in that time got a teacher in there. so i went out and went to the next class... there's no teacher... so, i stayed there. they're so naughty, mischievous, hyperactive.... only 5 girls in the class. the rest are boys. phew~ the experience with them, made me to think about staying in the profession deeper... i couldn't even control them. yeah. i only managed to keep them in the class... hu. hu. i watched them playing around... talked to some of them... hm. where's the fire?
things i learnt in lecture hours couldn't be applied in the situation last week. it just didn't work out. i tried to use some of my knowledge, but it didn't effective for everyone in the class. and i realized that i just unintentionally ignored the girls since they were in control.

i'm questioning myself, what kind of human will i produce through my teaching?