am sorry that i don't share modules here.
TSL modules?

but you can e-mail me, i will share the modules but assignments. :)

Friday, December 30, 2011

15th : finale - 2011.

in the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. (drafted)

i decided that i will change because i wanna change and it is because i found that parts in me just not parallel with what i read in the Qur'an and what i read from hadith and other various reliable sources and just not in line with what i listened attentively at Twins of Faith 2011 (Malaysia) and Himpunan 1000 Jiwa 1 Hati at Masjid Negara and Taman Tasik Perdana. the last remarkable point in 2011, i've ikrar with others at the hall in the TV Al-Hijrah building and to myself witnessed by Allah.

thus, i must be strong! to go against my very own self.

O thou wrapped up (in the mantle)! Arise and deliver thy warning! And thy Lord do thou magnify! And thy garments keep free from stain! And all abomination shun! Nor expect, in giving, any increase (for thyself)! But, for thy Lord's (Cause), be patient and constant! Finally, when the Trumpet is sounded, That will be- that Day - a Day of Distress,- Far from easy for those without Faith.

Friday, November 25, 2011

14th : wrapping up.

Sunday November 20, 2011

Teaching young Malaysians for the love of it

Teacher Talk

They are young and eager to impart their knowledge, yet anxious if they can face up to the challenges of being transformational educators to the high-needs schools they will be sent to next year.
I WAS privileged recently to speak to the first cohort of 50 teachers selected from all over the country for the Teach For Malaysia programme at Institut Aminuddin Baki, Genting Highlands. They are currently undergoing a training stint from Oct 30 to Dec 23 before they report for work in January to serve in 17 high-needs schools identified under the programme.
Looking at them, I saw fresh-faced individuals considerably aware of being the ones whose chosen career path offered hope and promise to scores of young Malaysian students they would be teaching in the coming year.
Yet, behind their cheerful facades, I sensed too their anxiety and concern. How would they shape up as real-life teachers?
As one Business Administration graduate said in his feedback form: “I’m anxious about the fact that we’re being sent to the most challenging schools and are expected to be transformational teachers.”
In an earlier corporate job, this graduate said he “had enough of a life sitting in a cubicle and being overwhelmed with reports and spreadsheets.”
“As a Teach For Malaysia fellow, I now look forward to a life that is interesting, challenging and exciting.”
Another, an English Literary Studies and Political Science graduate, wondered whether she has what it takes to come up with effective methods and strategies to teach, motivate and inspire her students.
“Will I make a difference?” she asked.
As an old hand at the game, all I can say is while their concerns are common to any young person joining the profession, it is their willingness to give their best shot that makes them stand out.
Take the young lady for instance who said that she had joined the programme to improve the lot of the children deprived of a good education.
She looks forward to putting “a smile on the faces of kids and being there for them” and showing them how much people like her “still care”. Frankly, I was moved by the altruistic intentions of this bunch of young teachers.
Their professional goals and good intentions come from their heart and this is what matters most in teachers seeking to redress inequity in education.
But, having worked with underprivileged kids before, I know these teachers have yet to face the harsh reality of being in a real-life classroom.
When they get loads of paperwork to do, a barrage of administrative duties to perform, politicking at work to deal with and a group of highly unpredictable students with varying abilities to tend to, will they be able to cope?
All new teachers take time to find their teaching feet.
When dealing with academically disinclined students, they must also be able to hold their own against encrusted teacher attitudes such those who ask “why waste your time with this lot”?
As for students from poor socio-economic backgrounds, they must contend with parents who rarely make their presence felt in school.
Then there are those who want their children desperately to do well in school, but who just don’t know how to handle their learning difficulties.
Meanwhile, among under-achieving students, ignorance, boredom, fear of failure, learning disorders, habitual patterns of unproductive behaviour and years of cultural conditioning are serious obstacles to learning.
Some students are even vicious enough to consistently challenge their teachers. Yet, I wish them all well.
I have worked with many problematic students before and I can assure you that it is an uphill task to move students from being passive, reluctant and bored learners to active, interested ones. But, small milestones are definitely possible.
Only the throes of the life of a teacher, going to school day by day, entering class after class, meeting students one after the other, will enlighten these Teach For Malaysia graduates.
I told them, “In school, you get the lesson first, then the test; but in life, you get the test first, then the lesson!”
I related to them story after story and of the strategies I used and those that were a success.
As a teacher, I never told any student that he was hopeless. Instead, I began by being hopeful myself and I filled even the most academically-challenged child I taught with the hope that if he worked at it, education was his ticket to a better world.
I also related to the eager teachers-to-be of a Form Two student who would not pass his Science exam because he had a learning disability and was not proficient in the language.
However, never did I ever allow him to think that he was incapable of learning or understanding material in my classroom.”
In fact, in 2006, when I was teaching a weak class in a rural school, I experimented with a programme I devised called GROW.
·G for Group teaching where I separated my students in groups according to their learning abilities and taught them separately;
·R for the group to Relax, play and learn where I used various forms of games to give them rest periods between bouts of learning (due to their short attention spans, I never taught them for more than 15 minutes at a time);
·O for Oral questioning techniques and Outdoor learning to stay relevant, generate variety and boost self-confidence; and
·W — the Whatever Works approach (role play, video clips, NiE, cartoon-filled worksheets, art, music) to kindle interest and motivate.
If my teaching was transformational, it was because I gave these students a sense of self-worth and achievement they didn’t have before.
Till today, I cannot forget the 14-year-old Chinese boy who couldn’t speak good English or write a decent sentence in Malay, but could explain perfectly in bahasa pasar how river water is converted into tap water.
Then there was the Indian boy who stuttered when he spoke but could tell me orally, yet correctly, half in Tamil and half in Malay that photosynthesis is the process by which a plant like sugar cane makes sugar in the sun.
My focus was on learning — their learning — and in whatever form it took, I accepted the outcome.
Sometimes, I was astounded by their answers. As Science students, they were intelligent, curious and interested — they just didn’t have language skills to match or the ability to remember massive facts for exams.
So, to these young teachers going forth to serve the nation, when you are teaching for Malaysia, you just put your shoulder to the wheel and do whatever it takes to strive, survive and triumph.
To beat the odds, you have to seek wisdom from the experienced and learn from your own daily teaching sessions. One particular memory that stands out for me is of the pint-sized Form Two boy, who cried: “Teacher, how will I learn without you? Please don’t go.”
As Wendy Kopp, the founder of Teach For America, puts it in her book A Change to Make History, “highly effective teachers are a massive lever for influencing the achievement gap.”
I think so too. Give a child a good teacher and you make all the difference.
it's been quite a time i haven't read Teacher Talk after my last post about it in this blog! ^__^
it's the second Friday i'm home. frankly speaking, i found that my life is like empty.. empty what? hm... tasteless cotton-candy? why cotton-candy? b'coz i've got clouds portrayed in my mind. ^__^
last nite, i posted about this second Friday at facebook in my beloved group at the campus, one of them commented to not mention about the limited time we've at home. ^__^ then, i emotionally commented back to not mentioning about those uniform unit we're gonna be in next sem/year. *freakin' out* ok. i was thinking selfishly to protect my own feelings from being disappointed? ha. ha. laugh. oit~ SOQ. ok. :) for that sister i mentioned her name in that selfish comment, hontouni gomennasai~ bianata~ am very sorry. hu. is she reading this entry anyway? =.=" uniform unit. ain't telling ya what did i get. ha. but, i didn't get my first choice; KRS. and ain't talkin' bout this as the main issue in this entry since i'm trying hard to get over those negative feelings i got - knowing the uniform i'm gonna wear in 2012 and retrieving words i said at the moment my friends and i were choosing the unit in the previous month/s.
tasteless cotton-candy. why? it seems tempting when u see it. nevertheless, it's tasteless when it touch ur tongue taste buds. hah-ha. so that my current life. i think it does look interesting from outside, yet i don't feel anything good here. deng! am actually wanna wrap up my 2011 as trainee teacher! OK. back to the main issue. *serious*
2 semesters in a year. 2 examinations. twice went to school for SBE. two different states i'd been soaked in. states; emotions.
huh! am wordless to describe the two semesters.
ah-ha! deng! why that cognitive theory came into my mind?! 2 examinations. the exam in the first semester, i did marathon in revising those subjects for exams. i had four papers in the first exam. i called it marathon although when my friends were discussing, i was sleeping soundly in their bed. second exam, ain't calling the revision i made with my beloved partner as marathon, b'coz, alhamdulillah, i managed to start revising the first two papers earlier just few days earlier anyway than the eleventh hour. that's an improvement for me. ^-^ and i only had three papers. and i had a not-so-good experience before the last paper. ok. three subjects, the first paper was about one week earlier than the other two. the next two papers had only about 24 hours gap. after the second paper, when i was about to revise for the last subject, my head was like full i tell ya! full. i felt the front part of my brain was overloaded. thus, i couldn't revise with my study partner. i just listened to her words reading the notes, understanding the notes. it's been a long time i haven't got the full-loaded-state of my brain. but, alhamdulillah, after few hours listening to her, my brain gave me opportunity to revise!
that's all about my examination... hm. now?
mangrove planting. hah. i'd two.. or three? experiences planting the mangrove plants! ^-^ i'm lovin' it. being an MC... i found that ain't recovered yet from that fear of being a chairperson. hu. i think, i want to get rid of that fear soon. until when should i be prison in that emotion trap right? hu. we'll see.. we'll see...
E1T1/EOTO... i just wanted to visit those Jeven and others.. but, hm.. i really want to see their smiles again. do activities with them again! ^-^ have the passion of being a teacher cultivated in me? ^-^ hope so!
finally i got things to be smiled of! of? should it be at? o yeah~
ok. 5 weeks left for this semester break. can u please remember me in ur du'a to make me stronger in mujahadah everyday? :)
realized me; ain't a good friend. ain't a good mate.
realized me; silence isn't good to fix a relationship. it's just worsen and destroying it.
realized me; devildemons actually is in me. silence is just adding reactivity of them.
realized me; silence actually that hurts me. not others.
realized me; to be aware of my weaknesses!
and yet, 2011, motivates me to do good next year! okeh.
btw, 1432 is already READY to leave us. T.T am gonna be 22 before Ramadhan in 1433. am old!
T^T let's do our best to be productive!
will this spirit maintain or be persistent?
let's strive and pray!
jaa~ ;)
if in the 8th entry, i felt like putting down my head on a table and won't look around anymore, currently feeling is that i'll just sit on my chair and put both hands on the table and just looking around. i think i don't wanna move. move here is not meant to change, but to react to those disturbances. yes. i'm. a. jerk. uhf. yet, i wanna be loving. ^-^"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

13th : this is not much..

smile out quietly. SOQ replacing LOL. laugh out loudly. :)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

:) too many things happened within this one month.. until yesterday.

i'd learnt many new things too. i'd learnt something new about technical things for something behind the stage when we're organizing an event using a hall. er... something related to sound system, microphone and lighting, slide show... ^^ the main point was that i couldn't do all those things alone. it should be done in group so it'll proceed smoothly. don't be greedy in doing works!

i went to Relay for Life Penang Branch with my TESLian family. hu. a good experience. not the best. it wasn't the best because i didn't enjoy that much during the program. there're too many doubts inside me as i look at the people around me, as i walk on the field... too many doubts that i'm afraid that i'd go astray of the straight path... doubts = satan's game. i couldn't get rid of those doubts. oh my. oh yes. the good part of this was getting a t-shirt! ^^V

MELTA. thanks to English Unit for organizing the workshop for us on October 8th. i thought a workshop would be something interactive that involves physical activity or at least group activity. huuu... why am i saying this? the reason is i was to be listening to the speaker most of the time. =.= u know right the facts of listening to a talk for a long time? ^^" yada. yada. there're times we'd to lend an ear to others too, in fact. ok. i lose. hm. another t-shirt for me after this program! ^^V. two new shirts! o yeah.

then, for GERKO, my friends and i had organized Mini-Soccer Competition (MSC). does it sound cool with initial MSC? -.- hue. this competition took two days to be finished. there're 7 teams involved in the game. knock-out system, league system.. i had no idea about these systems if u ask me to explain. but i know the surface of them. a lil bit. hm.
during one of the lecture hours, two friends and i presented about annual planning for training. hm. this planning thingy... i'd something in my mind when the lecturer adding points/explanation to our presentation. hm.

changes. hu.

problem. solved.

currently adapting myself to the new hostel... new is not as it is just finished built yesterday. but new for my friends and i as we just moved there yesterday evening. i don't like it even though i was as relax as i had nothing to do when we're told that the decision as in the notice given out on Friday. for the first time, i felt like crying after moving to a new place. i wonder how i would be if i be posted to a rural area TAHAP TIGA!!!
i reminded myself about being 'redha'. yeah. when i was about to cry, to blast complaints and words in my anger,upset, i asked myself, don't you redha with all these? can't you accept this? then, self-checking started. hu. but still, the heart inside here couldn't help to not be crying.

lau kana bainana... :')

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

12th : what a day.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

By (the Token of) Time (through the ages), Verily Man is in loss, Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. (surah 103, Al-'Asr: 1-3)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Have We not expanded thee thy breast?-And removed from thee thy burden The which did gall thy back?- And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard, And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention. (Surah 94, Al-Inshirah: 1-8)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

:D i've typed the phrase in arabic font!! :)

what a day.

it's the other half of 2nd semester of degree.

my weakness of this semester that still isn't be cured is LAZY or ELEVENTH HOUR habit.

if in foundation years, i submitted my assignments late but still on the deadline, in this first year of my degree study, i'd submitted one day late. okay. this is not the first time. ain't proud of it by typing it in this blog, i know i'm like intentionally telling the whole world 'bout my bad side.
yes. AM intentionally write this outta here. it's for me so that i WON'T REPEAT this repeated mistake again. so that, next time i will be writing, I'M DONE WITH MY ASSIGNMENT ONE WEEK EARLIER! oh. how i wish i will be telling ya that!

know what, i'd tried my best to do those things i mentioned above earlier. i even been wet with the water from my eyes because of the mind stuck i could not type even a word after reading the materials from many sources, after been discussing with my circumstances.... u'd know how it felt? nah if u never gone thru it. yada. AM EXPLAINING things. why should i explain these to you? naah. i just wanna let this out of my mind and so it will be a force for me to take an action for the better move. deny. deny. deny.

today i just feel like tonnes of load have been removed from my shoulder. uhf. yet there're more loads waiting to be loaded in the trucks for this shoulder. i pray that i will be tough enough to hold this load.

SBE. did i ever tell ya here about my school-based experience?

okay. today i feel like typing it.

the first experience was in the previous March.
the fate was that i arrived late at school every morning. only on the last day, i managed to reach the school 5 minutes earlier than the school time. that week, it was fated that my mother was not home... as the only eldest child and a sister, i was like replace my mother. heh. i wasn't replacing her, just do some of the routine that usually done by mother. my routine that week was: woke up-drove the younger brothers to school-went to the school for my SBE-fetch the brothers-return home after got something for lunch-self service-ready for dinner-things to be done for SBE-alpha wave... this routine.. what i can say, it's tiring. that week, i was quite exhausted. ha. ha. i was like, how would i be in the future? and, mother is very tough at heart...

the second experience was last week.
if in March i drove and fetch my younger brothers who're in primary school, this time i'd be a driver to my younger brothers in secondary schools. but this time, i only sent both of them and only fetch them when i needed to do so. this was due to the different school-timing.... i could return home at 1.15p.m, and the two brothers only can go back about at 4. (what was more excruciating that they must be in the school at 7.45a.m. and i at 7.30a.m.) i wouldn't wait! of course... yada. selfish. and yet i'd to fetch mother and those at the primary school.
this time, the routine is not persistent like the March one. hu. and, praise be to Allah that my time used was more efficient than the previous one. =) i managed to had a plan for SBE... hm. only that part is okay. the mood wasn't that pleasant. i was bored of the school routine... that was also one of my feedback to the headmaster on the last day of SBE. his respond was, "how are you gonna be a teacher in the future?" and yes, i was asking myself that question too! my resolution for this inquiry is that, purify my intention. i'm a muslim. i know what i'm doing.
on the last day, that school held Majlis Restu Ilmu for standard 6 pupils. yada, those standard 6 pupils have finished their UPSR examination today. almost all teachers involved in the ceremony. thus, my SBE friends and i had to relief class for a while until that thing end. i was given a standard 2 class to be taken care of. but the class i was supposed to be in that time got a teacher in there. so i went out and went to the next class... there's no teacher... so, i stayed there. they're so naughty, mischievous, hyperactive.... only 5 girls in the class. the rest are boys. phew~ the experience with them, made me to think about staying in the profession deeper... i couldn't even control them. yeah. i only managed to keep them in the class... hu. hu. i watched them playing around... talked to some of them... hm. where's the fire?
things i learnt in lecture hours couldn't be applied in the situation last week. it just didn't work out. i tried to use some of my knowledge, but it didn't effective for everyone in the class. and i realized that i just unintentionally ignored the girls since they were in control.

i'm questioning myself, what kind of human will i produce through my teaching?

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

11th : new definitions of a teacher

New Definitions of a Teacher (Tony Buzan)

1. reducing the pain of stupidity
mengurangkan sakitnya digelar orang bodoh

2. main provider of the intellectual capital of the nation and the world

pemberi utama kepada modal intelektual kepada negara dan dunia

3. mining the 99% of untapped potential
menggali baki 99% potensi yang tidak disentuh

4. provides the main stimulus & nutrition for developing the physical architecture for the students brain
menjadi pemangkin dan sumber untuk perkembangan fizikal kepada seni bina minda pelajarnya

5. protector of the physical & mental health of the students

pelindung kepada kesihatan fizikal dan mental pelajarnya

6. helps the students to build palaces of its potential perfect memory
membantu pelajar membina kamar-kamar di dalam istana minda bagi mendapatkan keupayaan daya ingatan yang sempurna

7. the provider of the correct formulae that allows the inate natural potential for brilliance to grow & flower

pemberi kepada formula yang betul yang membenarkan laluan kepada potensi kecerdasan hidup subur

8. rare privilege of being able to act as a prime role-model for the students

keistimewaan yang langka untuk menjadi model ikutan kepada pelajar

9. person responsible for launching the students' lifelong learning journey

insan yang bertanggungjawab melancarkan pelajarnya ke platform menimba ilmu yang berpanjangan
10. helps launch the child on the exploration of its own internal universalsmembantu pelajarnya meneroka keupayaan minda sendiri
11. provider of worthwhile daydreams and shepherd who helps the students make it come truememberi angan-angan bermakna dan membimbing pelajarnya merealisasikan angan-angan itu.
credit goes to:
it's a responsibility. R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.I.L.I.T.Y.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

10th : it's great

life is wonderful. :)

what to say?

two weeks ago; March 3rd, 2011, we had KOT (Kejohanan Olahraga Tahunan) at our campus. my sports team, Dinamik got the third place. but, we were the champion for the marching. :D (i know my language is bad!) and i was very happy! ^-^ since last year i was hoping to win the marching. :D i love marching anyway. :)

four days later, my classmates and another class went to Kem Sg. Batu Besi, Merbok for BIG (Bina Insan Guru / Bina Insan Gelap) :D i enjoyed this camping very well. oh.

alhamdulillah. :) all praises to Allah. :)

on the first day, we built up our tents. three tents; 2 for ladies and 1 for men. there're 15 men and 26 ladies excluding our trainers and lecturers and tutors. :D lecturers and trainers and tutors got different tents from us. :) when others were building up the tents, i got nothing to do. wohohoho. so, i helped for other small parts of building up tents. :) for example take 'pancang' for them and hold the rope. :)
after asar prayer, we went to the river! o yeah! watering time! ha. ha. water confident. i remembered my experience at Kem Tok Sakah during our first semester in foundation. to compare the experience in Tok Sakah and Sg. Batu Besi, it's much much much better at Sg. Batu Besi. :) i don't know why (oh. one in a million is playing in my ears). :D i could float very well in the water. :) it's an accomplishment! :D
at night, we'd LDK with our lecturer. hm. about saying thank you. expressing our gratitude. :) appreciating others. :) that's how to be a good teacher and human. :) knowing others. ta'aruf. ta'aruf is on progress every second right? :)
o yeah. tazkirah maghrib. events in Rabi'ul awwal. do you remember? me? no. i don't really remember. i just remember maulidurrasul, the day rasulullah passed away and hijrah to Madinah. really made my heart... hm... like my heart was pinched. ^.^"
i was on duty for guarding the camp site at 0300-0530.

second day, kayaking. :) i love this too! :) however, this time, i was quite weak and not so spirit to 'drive' kayak. then, we'd to find a partner. all men must got a female partner. one of us couldn't kayak. so, 5 couples should be the females. hm. i got a male partner. during the camp at Tok Sakah, i was with my female classmate. :) then, she was sick of of the sea. haha. in the middle of the sea. then, one of the lecturers replaced her. i was quite relax that time because the lecturer got more energy! haha. for this BIG, i paddled well. i sat in front. so, i was the co-pilot. but, i think i was leading the kayaking. he. i think i was the one gave out the direction to paddle. hm. i felt the guilt, but he didn't willing to say this "kiri, kanan, kiri..." out. :) okay. there's too many 'but' here.
after kayaking, as usual we got reflection. my personal reflection was about communicating clearly and explicitly. haha. why? when i was in the kayak, if no one said "kiri kanan kiri" out loud, how can we paddle the kayak together? :) our paddle would be "ktung" "ktang" each other. :) as well as in our daily life, if we don't communicate clearly each other, there would be many misunderstandings. :) communicate clearly also got a condition where the communicators must be willing to listen to others as well. :)
in the afternoon, we supposed to have orienteering. however, the rahmah was raining over the land we're staying on. :) so, we'd activities using ropes. :)
maghrib. tazkirah. tazkirah subuh, i didn't attend it because i was in the kitchen; cooking for our breakfast. i didn't cook at all. haha. maghrib tazkirah. hm. parents' advices. do we really turn their advices into actions? checklist. T.T
then, LDK with our camp commander. we sang songs. hu. hu. with actions. then sleep.

third day, kembara bakau! mangrove walk? he. he. we'd to relate the mangrove ecology with school as an organization. this time, again i compared thee to the experience at Kem Tok Sakah. yeah. i was too proud with my experience. hah. initially, the lecturer brought us walking on the usual land. some of my friends and i were complaining, "ini je? xbest nya..." after a while, the lecturer brought us into the mangrove swamp. ho. ho. ho. the mud was really thick and sticky! o yeah. then i just felt the trials. serve me right. most of our feet got into the mud until our knee level. ^.^ don't be proud of our experience. different experience brings different effects in our life. :)
o yeah. subuh reminder. syahadah. pronouncing our syahadah correctly, knowing the meaning and the claims of it. again, the other me was crying.
in the afternoon, after lunch, we destroyed our tents. hu. it's due to the raining days. if we deconstruct them on the next day, it would be late for us to make sure they dry well. at night, we'd Cultural Night. haha. i mean, 'Malam Kebudayaan'.

March 10th, 2011, last day! o yeah! clean and clear the sites! :) returned to the campus~ T.T

March 11th, 2011, last day at the campus! presented literature assignment. i was no feeling at all doing the presentation. hm. Marxist literary theory. Barn Burning by William Faulkner. this uncle... huh. however, i quite enjoyed reading Marxism and Barn Burning.

o yeah. i haven't finish the essay yet! come on self!

11032011, 10.00p.m. - additional bus trip from Shamisha co. back to the hometown. :)

before KOT, there's one of my classmates had given me advices. know what, it's been one year and half, there's no one ever talk to me about my bad attitudes. but, that day, i got it. i really appreciate it dear my sister. that's one of my point registering myself into the institute. being in the institute, we're always reminded about ourselves. being a good person, teacher. to be loving. :)

gambatte ne!