MODULE?

am sorry that i don't share modules here.
TSL modules?
NO MODULES NOR MY ASSIGNMENTS NOR ACADEMIC PIECES in this blog. =D

but you can e-mail me, i will share the modules but assignments. :)
trustydd@gmail.com
Showing posts with label my cognitive factor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my cognitive factor. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

69th : near.

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

am very near to the end of my final semester of my final year of my study. ^_^

praise be to Allah.

i was like not as busy as my friends who were in-charge in the organizing committee for the seminar.

i was like as slow as a snail in improving my write-up of my report.

i was like not confident like i did not do anything for my research.

yet, i was grateful for all kind-hearted and helpful people, especially lecturers around me. ^_^

coming back to the campus after the mid-sem break, i brought a blazer with me. i borrowed it from my mother. then, today, i brought it to the class. finally, during the presentation, i didn't wear it. i was not confident. ^_^"

reflecting on weeks before the mid-sem break, there were six Saturdays; my classmates and i didn't have our real Saturday. why? because of the A.R.

hi! i was the last presenter of my class.

while other friends from other classes were attending the closing ceremony for our action research seminar at 4.30 p.m., i was just beginning my presentation. ^_^ 

after the seminar ended, my friends and i went to Perda City Mall!!

we found....

tamiya 4WD. car. race. interesting!

there'll be a tournament at Perda City Mall. on this coming Saturday. (i'm interested to go and look around. to observe. hm...)

yeah. i enjoy knowing new things. thanks to my friends for accompanying me to ask to those misters to demonstrate the tamiya car on the circuit. :D

i want to know more about this activity. yes. really.

my friends and i were aware that this tamiya car were the car models used in schools for Kemahiran Hidup subject.

if this kind of activity can benefit the students, why not i encourage my students in the future who has interest in this kind of activity or have skills related to this tamiya thingy to join this movement? isn't it? ^_^

thus, that's it.

tomorrow, am gonna listen to integrity speech. hmm...

Friday, November 8, 2013

63rd : another paper to leave.

how are you? ...

okeyh. exam has begun. and desperately wanna go home!

TSL 3111 
what to say? my assignment marks is very unsatisfying. well. i deserved the marks, though. but, in order to set my pointer target, that is one factor that makes my motivation to decrease and makes my spirit to give up. but, my heart told me to do my very best! ^_^ and my brain too told me that i have time! it's time. ah-ha. thus, alhamdulillah. i ain't really worrying.
about the course, it has only 6 topics. i thought, it's only me that thought the topics were too little? no. my friends thought that way too. 6 topics and the content of the topics are like... repetitious? not to say the  paper was going to be easy, but we were afraid if the questions would be like outside of our mind like writing paper in the previous sem. it was like... hmmmm.... too difficult. the difficulty is because of the subjectivity of the questions. :) that's what i think.
in addition, we, as the pioneer of the course have no certain reference. for other courses, they might ask for past year questions, at least, they could imagine the questions pattern like. we (us)? hee... well. mother told me that would make you in a real tawakkal, insya Allah. :) thus, no worries. :)
the questions were on types of materials, factors and principles of  selection and adaptation and evaluation of materials... to what extent ESL materials help teachers in their teaching? then, how to exploit the given materials to teach other language skills? advice to be given to this teacher who wants to produce a big book using raw materials. language skills to be implemented for the particular materials. okay.

RBT 3120
i was thinking to exchange notes with friends in other campus. but, i realized that for elective paper, it's set-up at the campus level. hmm.... so, we just really went into the lecture notes that we have. haha. for me, honestly, i enjoyed revising RBT courses. this is because it is factual and like adding knowledge and sometimes it's something near us in our daily life, but in the course it has the specific terminology used. for example in teknologi rumah tangga (home science technology), about the french seam, the belahan everything. hahaha. they're on the attire we wear everyday! ^_^

going to buy some fish! 

bought fish. ehm... the blacky fish died after about 24 hours or less... hee. 


the white sand should be washed thoroughly and meticulously... others' aquariums have more accessories, to be frank. -_- 

okay. another 5 days! ^_^

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

60th : i'm alive!

yes.
alhamdulillah am alive.
am alive.

practicum. phase 2. done. successfully? no. gracefully? i don't think so.

the portfolio. it's been two weeks. i haven't updated the weekly reflective journal. the pernyataan profesional. the journal is not updated for the eighth week. professional statement? everything. am dead if my lecturers are reading this.

laugh.
i laugh.
when i can't tell you my thoughts. my feelings. my instinct.
i laugh.
when i can't answer your inquiries.
i can't answer because the blame is on me.
my answers will turn out to be excuses.
thus, it's better to say nothing. nothing.
i laugh.
when i feel tickled.
yeah. funny; in my point of view.
i laugh.
to... hide myself?
ha-ha.

practicum.

if after the first practicum finished i felt disappointed for my grade.
for this second phase, i knew that i deserved the grade.
i realised that even before the lecturer tells me.

that ego in me; i hate to hear negative comments about me from others when i am aware of the bad me.

that awkward me; i don't know or i can't respond to praises... to positive comments from others about me. yeah.

both ego and awkward me are negative.

i am labelled as 'sombong'. ahah. i am labelled as 'kera sumbang'.

at the school. i write these statements based on the feedback i received from the collaborating teacher.

'sombong'... proud. i used to that kind of label in secondary school. commented by the boys. ... that is just okay, for me, for that context. but, for this practicum context, it's just... kind of wrong to be happened?

'kera sumbang'. i never received this comment before the second phase practicum. ha-ha.
yada. am learning to be 'kera sumbang'. thus, i've succeed? ha-ha.

and yes.
i am not frustrated over my practicum result.
i don't know how should i arrange my words to construct one clear sentence to describe.
i am sad, but frustrated.

pointer. another issue. 3.85. am too far to chase that.

and for this sem, i am quite... hurnm. demotivated.

factors?
everything.
system.
people.
myself.

am enjoying myself.
to finish the ELS report. yada. am the secretary. maybe i can apply that pose after graduation. kah3. two years experience of being a secretary. that should suffice the requirement of new recruits in getting a job, isn't it? NO? ah.
to play netball in the evening. ha-ha.
to finish sewing a night-blouse for RBT3120. coursework. not for fun.
to slowly slow complete my practicum portfolio. :P
to not have negative thoughts about others. i have had enough.
to help others maintain relationship from being broken. silaturrahim. ukhuwah? no? i mean it when i say i care about you. i love you. yes. the word love from me is not exclusive for certain people that i call as my clan or gang. islam teaches us about love. why should it be exclusive like branded products in malls? yet, it's not that cheap that you can get it anywhere easily. it's just affordable. to make it affordable, it depends on the terms and conditions described in the Qur'an and sunnah. yeah. i don't wanna elaborate more. :P

one of enjoyable moments in this semester. RBT 3120

one of enjoyable weekends in this semester. 

Thursday, July 18, 2013

57th : lame.

i hope this entry won't be the reason my blog's hits increase.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=er3SmEYLZtE

watch the video.

hahaha.

hm.

i.. frankly writing, yeah, it doesn't really matter if i ain't guaranteed...

but, one thing, my CERT must be ACCREDITED and GUARANTEED for that i can apply anything after 5 years and half....

am doing best to get QUALIFIED CERT.

it's like, u're saying we can be anything after we graduate. okay fine. make sure it's FOR REAL.

lame.

thanks my lecturer in the academy i went before i enter the institute to remind me, ALLAH'S THE BEST PLANNER. GO TO HIM. ASK FOR HIM FOR ANYTHING. HE WON'T DISAPPOINT YOU.

BE SINCERE. IF I WANT TO BE A TEACHER, HE'S THERE TO SAY YES FOR MY REQUEST. ^_ ^_^

RAMADHAN KAREEM!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

55th : review.

in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

first of all, i owe you the story of my presentation for TSL 3109. the congruent communication by Haim Ginott.

this memory, my group members and i presented the theory using the software named Prezi.com.
you can access to our presentation here : http://prezi.com/7esbwipuu9p0/congruent-communication-by-haim-ginott/

i like this theory very much. much. much. all of us in my group agreed with the theory. and we did agree that this theory actually says what Islam teach us. to be positive. to be loving.

what amazed me that after our presentation, there was a sharing with a sister; a teacher,  about the Technique Used by our Prophet (peace be upon him) are similar to what my friends and i studied in Congruent Communication. i ain't that 'light skeleton' to type all the explanation, but briefly this is what i was thinking about. i'll try to upload pictures of some notes of the sharing, later. insya Allah.

my friends and i enjoyed our presentation very much. i, personally, had a great time. maybe because of the intensity of my feelings in doing it. he.

in the end of the presentation, we were asked, about being so congruent, what if the learners;students;pupils, of the opposite genders of the teachers take things wrongly? like falling in love, something like that... i was speechless. ha-ha. hm. that's the point where the counsellor of the school have roles to play. =)

okay.

if possible, i'll update more, tonight. insya Allah. ^_^

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

53rd : flat.

in Malaysia, people in the tertiary level of education craving for four flat. i am too.

but, what about living in a flat? i am sensitive to know my pupils' background, even just to hear that they live in flat.

i love you, kids.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

50th : i owe you.

50th : ordinal number. hahaha! << should change to S.O.Q. >.<

i have many things in my mind to be scribbled here. but, i still can't manage to steal some times to seat and type something. when i want to express myself about something, i need a longer time compared to this kind of entry.
K-O-T done.
cross country done.
BIG done.
assignments - most of them half-done.

so, my dear blog, i owe you many stories!

p/s: i really dun agree with people that think the past is not important. this is because the past do have influence over our actions and thinking today. don't you think so?
even, to be on the sunnah, it's in the past. isn't it? those who doesn't look back to the history, tend to repeat the mistakes in the future.

history and today
today and future
history and future
future and history
   seems far away from each other
    yet, they have a link can't be seen physically
     that actually closely related to each other

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

47th : the hard times...

it's good if we find that we are problem.
i'ts good if we know people don't like us, are not comfy with us.

yeah. i'm saying it's good. humans. factually that humans... humans means us... so, we are created to face and solve the things we take it as problems.

if we are problem, what should we do?

if we are not liked or people don't comfy with us, what do we do?

ain't trying to be a motivator or what here. i want to share what i think.

as a Muslim, it's useless to live this life if we don't have any contribution toward people around us. this is one of the basic mind-settings, for me.

we're not living this life alone. we live this life with others.

then, how to be with others? of course, communicating.

and, i do believe and have faith, communicating either it's one way or two ways, it involves physically, emotionally and spiritually.

before all the communication occur, our mind setting should be cleared.

since last year, i found that the theory of Johari window's really made me think positively. yeah. alhamdulillah.

it's not only ourselves have a view for us and we do have something we don't know until someone tell us. we have people in the same circle with us and people that never know us like really know us (not in the same circle) that can help us to look at our hidden selves naturally (we don't have to ask people directly, it's just life). AND, when we do find something about ourselves from others, we just have to be fair to ourselves in accepting the things.

we may reflect on our lives...

for me, i've learnt.. i think. i do think that people around do have their own significance in my life. in building my character. definitely, they do help me to reflect my own self. this is just like putting ourselves in their shoes. yes. as simple as that, simple? maybe.

we do concern about ourselves.
but, we do too have to concern about  others.
others affect us in many ways.
to make others understand us, we have to share with them.
share what? share our thoughts. they might be not accepting ours, but at least they know.
and it has to be in two directions. it's unfair if they know about us, but we don't know them.
so, we have to know them too. know their thoughts too.
this is where we learn to respect each other.

i too a person that difficult to listen to others. but, do make du'as and do tell people to help me in improving myself. (people who live around me may not agree with this, but, at least this is what i think and feel...)

the hard times for us maybe different in situation, but the room of hope for us the same as we raise our hands and make du'a.

^_^

may Allah ease, people.

Monday, December 3, 2012

42nd : idl.

idl. i don't like. haha.

breathe in. breathe out. repeat three times. then say, alhamdulillah. :)

three years and half has passed. i am suddenly feel scared. afraid. hu-hu.

two years left. two years to go. 4 semesters.

there're few things about this type of campus life. or as written on the blue and black shirts sold, IPG life.

the first thing i would like to avoid when meeting people is to talk about parents. specifically about parents' jobs. ha-ha. because, it's normally, when people asked me or already knew me studying in IPG, when they found that my parents are in education sector of this country too, they expected-ly responded, "ikut mak ayah la ni..." (follow parents' steps...) and you yourself reading this entry would be saying that, aite?
i just be more annoyed when people know about my father, they would respond, "no wonder..." (patutlah...) i just don't like it.

i have my own reasons for being annoyed.

number one. my parents NEVER offer me studying in IPG. it's my own effort. yeah. i just knew about IPG that time through my friends. thanks to them. i also got to know about IPG via my sweet sisters (not biological sister) after SPM that time (2009). to have the courage applying for it was my own decision. yes. am telling you, my parents never force me. they know what was my ambition that time. my father even offered me something for me to further in the ambition i wanted to. it's my decision. after all.

number two. i did write in the application forms about my parents working in the education sector. it's just to give flavours into the  essay, i would say. no. i don't choose to be here because my parents are working in the sector. no. i was even afraid to be in this sector (now i'm even annoyed) because i was afraid about people stereotyping about children-parents thingy. when the parents are accountant, people tend to expect the children will inherit the business or the accounting brain of their parents.

number three. i have my dream. beautiful dream for choosing this road not taken by people around me. yeah. ^_^

next, about the IPG name. when people ask me, "where are you studying?"

definitely my short answer is, "IPG."

they usually reply me the words below,

"oo.. maktab..." (did i say that? -.-")

"what?" (ok. people don't know about us...)

and yes. am annoyed. ha-ha.

when they reply me "what?" i just have to reply these,

generally: "IPG stands for Institut Pendidikan Guru.."

specifically: "IPG Kampus Tuanku Bainun..."

hearing my specific answer, i usually get this answer, 

"oo.. kat Perak eh?"

i will just have to quickly correct them, "no. in Bukit Mertajam, Pulau Pinang... (adding: not the one in island)"

adoi. complicated.


why i feel annoyed about people replying me "maktab" answer?

that would be because we are now IPG. no M behind G. no maktab maktab anymore. most of our lecturers, especially them who're in Research and Innovation Department too very annoyed when people keep mentioning our college as "maktab". hu-hu. it's all about developing the education system in this country. if you know. so, i'm supporting and to show appreciation to them and myself, i use IPG. but, somehow, i just have to use that word to make it short for people to know me. huk3.

this issue just made my brain got this thought: people don't know about us. the education system.

but, they know (are aware) we got allowance. sigh.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

39th : near to the end...

*listening to Dr. Danial's speech on Innocence of Muslim first part*

hm.


the course ended beautifully! hoh-ho. er. alhamdulillah. :)

alhamdulillah.

we also had done our postmortem in the afternoon today.

hm. yet, there's one more assessment which is oral assessment need to be done by next wednesday.

accreditation. salary. all the DG... whatsoever..

UAK. exams.

and i realized that i have overlooked some works on my shoulders. >.<

ok.

all the best.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

38th : KP.

KP.

i can't say i never wish for that position because i don't know my heart.
i did wish for other organisation... not this one i tell you...

did you know how bad i reacted to the news once in the past year that i was going to be in that uniform unit? did u know?

did u know u had put me in the position i really hate in the first semester? 

did u know that i was annoyed that people telling me 'KAGUM' and 'KAGUM' for that i was going for that programme?

did u know i thanked Allah for giving such sweet memories, good experience in the programme?

did u know how i was excited to return to the campus to share with you my sweet memories and good experience to give your mind a little freedom and shift your paradigm and boost your motivation being in this group?

did u know i was annoyed when u once again put me in the position full of responsibilities?

did u know i was in frustration when we're not going for a camping instead of pentauliahan course because i think you won't learn something?

did u know my optimism faded away when some of you doubted me? questioned me like (itwaslikehell) u actually wanted to embarrass me in front of crowd?

did u know i am afraid that the way i think about you is wrong, but my heart can't deny the offended feeling?

did u know when the optimism disappeared i just can't help myself to coax my heart to not be hateful towards something i'm trying to like?

did u ever know to be responsible on something u did hate, did like, had sweet memories, end up with hatred again is VERY HARD?

it's hard because, do u know that doing things without sincerity is useless and will not be counted in your book when you are on the Judgement Day?????????

i don't want my hardwork, my time spent and those exhausted feelings i had gone through be wasted and useless.

can you understand?
would you try to understand?

self, will you get the answer here?
someday. maybe.

i pray that this will end quickly.
i pray that this will end without regret.
i really want to leave that group in facebook later, at least. because i just can't run from the reality.
i realized this causing me to be sick at feelings, sick at physical and yet, i know it should be strengthen spiritually.


.... some get it bad
some get it worse
life can sometimes look like a curse
so i cry my heart out 
let it all go....
- Outlandish

.... bukan bibir ini berbicara
namun jiwa ini berbahasa
dalam lamunan ku yakinkan 
kaulah teman kebahagiaan
Tuhan temukan ku penawar...
-Nur One


Friday, September 7, 2012

36th : no idea.

er. ok.
i just can't think of suitable title for this entry.

hey. hey.

tomorrow is Saturday.
it's a day to replace the raya early break last month. ok. SBE. remember? so, i have to go to school tomorrow. =_="

assignments. roughly, three are done. submitted. but, for a 'REAL DONE' is only one. the other two have certain things unfinished yet like storytelling session plus a reflection for that and the SBE task since i've to replace a day~

so, this is the final product of my wood project. *am i using GTM here? *_*

i just... like... speechless. ok. this is pink! -.- heh. but, i'm glad that mine looks different from others! ha-ha. yada. i get into the elevator and i shut it by myself! :P

er. ok. i got no point at all for this post.

just an update. eh.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

35th : good for nothing.

it's useless when you finished doing something, then, the something you'd worked on weren't being assessed or evaluated by the authorities.

hm. you just got satisfaction. perhaps.

but, thinking about this situation beyond the timeline, what if what we'd worked on through our life... let's say i have been living in this world for 22 years, let's say i have contributed to people in the world more than my life, even more... then after i died, all my contributions are not qualified by The Creator...

together we make du'a we won't be included in those people at that moment of accumulating    counting is the right word (LOL) our deeds, Yaumul Hisab.






i hope things that written by me here and anywhere are not going to ruin the people. mentally. morally.

Monday, July 30, 2012

32nd : easy, no?

to think about my hatred... my dislikes... my unwanted lists... it won't solve my problem.

at last, i just will have to go through those things too.

i won't be able to avoid.

the best thing to do, still, to be responsible.

when we're trying our best to be kind, nice, there will be challenges ahead; waiting for us.

but, be good. for that it's not people who would count your acts. it's Him. Allah.

though, ain't remember this when am in the situation, it's okay. checklist. and TRY. EFFORT that counts too.

people won't ask you to put themselves in your shoes, but, we can do that to them.

no matter how negative  you feel you're treated, remember that our best role-model, Prophet peace be upon him, taught us to be kind to people. rahmah, aite?

again, this entry has no coherence at all.

but, people, i realised, it's hard to be a leader when the people below are not willing to listen to you. even worst they are to doubt you.

i too realised, we are treated the way we treated or treat others too.

i three realised, it's the best when we're in love with our friends. enjoy your love you got with your friends. this is not love between gender i'm speaking about.

to contribute something for the ummah (people) is a satisfaction. be it money, time, energy, etc. that's infaq.

ok.


RAMADHAN KAREEM EVERYONE. :)  [u reply to me: Allahu akram. :)]

Monday, May 14, 2012

29th : redundant.

i left a comment for a post in a group. on Facebook. yes.

minutes later, i found the comment i left wasn't one, but more than four! =.=" the comment i left was mentioning a name; a facebook user too. so, she sounded irritated replying my comments. ding!! ok. i said sorry (it wasn't really my fault. i didn't push the enter button on this keyboard many times purposely, it's the wifi.. b'coz the 'like' was showing 'try again'. so i clicked on that.... -.-" still my fault. so beware next time. haha. beware?) and a part of my sentence was,

sy tak perasan pun redundant tu.

consciously i think i should check the choice of word i made. redundant?

here it goes, based  on the oxford dictionary. ^_^

re·dun·dant / Ñ rI'dVndJnt; NAmE Ñ / adjective
1. (BrE) (of a person) without a job because there is no more work available for you in a company:
to be made redundant from your job - redundant employees

2.not needed or useful:
The picture has too much redundant detail.

 re·dun·dant·ly adverb

please, do ignore those bizarre symbols. i copied and pasted from the virtual oxford  dictionary in this machine i have.

i am pretty much concern on my words. yada. i'm a TESLian. so, i should be that meticulous in this language right?

so, look. i've used the word wrongly. T^T

am sad.

 EDU3104. done. don't wanna comment anything on the questions. i'm just relieved that the time was just sufficient! thank Allah! hu.

let's struggle for the other three papers! ^_^

Saturday, May 12, 2012

28th : parity.

parity. the state of being equal.

ain't updating to give a lecture on this word. i took this word randomly from my Oxford learner's pocket dictionary.

TSL 3106


TSL 3105

what we sold last year during Hari Terbuka Asrama

RBT 3117

not really a group, aite? hu.
4 papers to go.

WAJ 3106 - done. relieved. have studied interesting knowledge and got to know variety of perceptions of citizen in Malaysia. ^_^ just loving my country deeper uh? hah-ha.

LGA 3102. disaster. i. am. afraid. my assignments wasn't really satisfying the person who marked it. the test i'd answered on the previous Thursday was earthquake. and yet, yesterday, i just heard about my super juniors that had been expelled due to their failure in examinations after repeated the papers they failed. remember in foundation, i ever said to people this, "insya Allah if i am to finish my study there.." when they said, "so u're future teacher..." i just... that. with this expression :-S and :(
i feel am on another test. the test of life. i thank Allah that i didn't think about doing anything crazy after this paper. hu. u know, the feeling after got into a disastrous event, u'll be searching for something that can make u get rid of those unpleasant feeling and assumptions.

i am glad that i can do revision on my own. this is an achievement. but, i don't like it when i just can't have the contented feeling when i'm revising... empty. hu. and it ended by slacking down on the thin cotton pillow.

my last paper will be on the May 22nd morning. the ticket bought will be on May 25th night. ^_^ ottokaee for another three days?

till then.

Friday, April 20, 2012

27th : vicinity.


Gorgeous with lurve... group name. ^_^

the latter presents are from lecturers and facilitator. the wrapped two are for making teaching aids; the mobile letters and sandpaper letters. doing those cards really means sacrificing your sleep hours! yet, i enjoy doing them, :) the pen from Mr. Barath because one day in the previous week, i went to the English unit to take LCD projector. the lecturer i was searching for wasn't there yet. so, i waited in the room. Mr. Barath was there and he asked me about my classmates and I absence during our super juniors' SS exhibition and something about women-gender-talk-course. first question, i answered we'd class. then, he said he came across the boys, it's recess time. then, i told him, i don't have the answer. so, i just listen to his 'motivational talk' and smile. after all, he gave me a pen for listening to his 'lecture'. ^__^"

other pictures are my classroom's wall. our artworks. that's what we should do when we go to school someday. =.='

the yellow stick note; comments from others that read my haiku. i pasted another haiku too, not about the time, about colours, but, i just couldn't find it. maybe it has been thrown away. the people who threw away others' pieces should think twice, at least if the paper fell onto the floor, at least again just pick it and put it somewhere in the classroom. *frustrated*

RBT 3117 - the second minor course i'm taking... i've to struggle in the coming examination to make sure my pointer won't drop~ ah.. after listening to what the lecturer's hoping for our previous project, i was like, you never show us the example. and my confusion didn't go that far when i was in question marks doing the project. i was also like, you hasn't covered that topic when you were giving us the tasks. and i too wasn't that enthusiastic to see you. thus, the blame is still on me! mamma mia~~~

EDU 3104 - the compulsory course. behaviour and  classroom management. i too did the coursework in question marks where all the doubts are in my mind. but, i didn't push myself to erase all the question marks and just get myself drowned in them. and only during the presentation i see the point i had overlooked!

based on these two courses, am really in trouble this semester if u're talking about pointer, CGPA, bla.. bla.. bla.. especially that EDU subject, am quite lost. u ask me, what have i learnt according to syllabus, i just can't recall. T_T

i was in swing in the classroom when early in the morning i arrived late few minutes in the room. when before recess i asked a question that the answer has spoiled everyone's mood. when i am unsatisfied with something. and when i am just really want to scream, "I DON'T WANT THIS AND I AM FALLING TO THE GROUND BEARING ALL THIS BORING ACTIVITY."

KEYWORD OF THE DAY: PATIENCE.

HA. HA. HA. THIS IS LONG ENOUGH.

pen off.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

20th : doubtful?

hm. sports day is coming.

issue: muslimah can't participate in games like run 100m, 4 x 100m...

i was quite.. hm... i think, just run. ha. ha. since i had participated once in my second semester and even about an hour ago. walaweh.

after give a few minutes thought, still, ikhtilat. just separate between the two genders. and i too think, those who're in the management thingy can do it if we really wanna do it.

yada. previously, in the past, during our school years, for those who're in the; we-call-it-Islamic-school, had great time on sports day. participated in many matches and all that we tell others as sweet memories... ok. i've lost my words. *istighfar*

and i too felt discrimination... if we really wanna defend a group of people, make it fair. if we use title 'muslim', then that would be the best way, it's a whole! heh. ok. self, do i make this entry because of the unsatisfied me? *istighfar*

some people too say, look at the world, there's a record a muslimah won the what... running match (oh my.. vocabulary!!!)... and it's international... so?

to wear uniform with trousers... with our tudung put it the shirt... how? hu.

still, reminding me of khilafah.

i too, asking myself, am i too liberate or what?

i still believe, we can make a change if we really want and unite. firm. and of course, need support.

am i too ambitious?

oh. this system...

by,
me who's wondering, pondering and thinking...


(2:131) Behold! his Lord said to him: "Bow (thy will to Me):" He said: "I bow (my will) to the Lord and Cherisher of the Universe."

(2:208) O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.
[Al-Baqarah]

Friday, November 25, 2011

14th : wrapping up.

Sunday November 20, 2011

Teaching young Malaysians for the love of it

Teacher Talk
By NITHYA SIDHHU

They are young and eager to impart their knowledge, yet anxious if they can face up to the challenges of being transformational educators to the high-needs schools they will be sent to next year.
I WAS privileged recently to speak to the first cohort of 50 teachers selected from all over the country for the Teach For Malaysia programme at Institut Aminuddin Baki, Genting Highlands. They are currently undergoing a training stint from Oct 30 to Dec 23 before they report for work in January to serve in 17 high-needs schools identified under the programme.
Looking at them, I saw fresh-faced individuals considerably aware of being the ones whose chosen career path offered hope and promise to scores of young Malaysian students they would be teaching in the coming year.
Yet, behind their cheerful facades, I sensed too their anxiety and concern. How would they shape up as real-life teachers?
As one Business Administration graduate said in his feedback form: “I’m anxious about the fact that we’re being sent to the most challenging schools and are expected to be transformational teachers.”
In an earlier corporate job, this graduate said he “had enough of a life sitting in a cubicle and being overwhelmed with reports and spreadsheets.”
“As a Teach For Malaysia fellow, I now look forward to a life that is interesting, challenging and exciting.”
Another, an English Literary Studies and Political Science graduate, wondered whether she has what it takes to come up with effective methods and strategies to teach, motivate and inspire her students.
“Will I make a difference?” she asked.
As an old hand at the game, all I can say is while their concerns are common to any young person joining the profession, it is their willingness to give their best shot that makes them stand out.
Take the young lady for instance who said that she had joined the programme to improve the lot of the children deprived of a good education.
She looks forward to putting “a smile on the faces of kids and being there for them” and showing them how much people like her “still care”. Frankly, I was moved by the altruistic intentions of this bunch of young teachers.
Their professional goals and good intentions come from their heart and this is what matters most in teachers seeking to redress inequity in education.
But, having worked with underprivileged kids before, I know these teachers have yet to face the harsh reality of being in a real-life classroom.
When they get loads of paperwork to do, a barrage of administrative duties to perform, politicking at work to deal with and a group of highly unpredictable students with varying abilities to tend to, will they be able to cope?
All new teachers take time to find their teaching feet.
When dealing with academically disinclined students, they must also be able to hold their own against encrusted teacher attitudes such those who ask “why waste your time with this lot”?
As for students from poor socio-economic backgrounds, they must contend with parents who rarely make their presence felt in school.
Then there are those who want their children desperately to do well in school, but who just don’t know how to handle their learning difficulties.
Meanwhile, among under-achieving students, ignorance, boredom, fear of failure, learning disorders, habitual patterns of unproductive behaviour and years of cultural conditioning are serious obstacles to learning.
Some students are even vicious enough to consistently challenge their teachers. Yet, I wish them all well.
I have worked with many problematic students before and I can assure you that it is an uphill task to move students from being passive, reluctant and bored learners to active, interested ones. But, small milestones are definitely possible.
Only the throes of the life of a teacher, going to school day by day, entering class after class, meeting students one after the other, will enlighten these Teach For Malaysia graduates.
I told them, “In school, you get the lesson first, then the test; but in life, you get the test first, then the lesson!”
I related to them story after story and of the strategies I used and those that were a success.
As a teacher, I never told any student that he was hopeless. Instead, I began by being hopeful myself and I filled even the most academically-challenged child I taught with the hope that if he worked at it, education was his ticket to a better world.
I also related to the eager teachers-to-be of a Form Two student who would not pass his Science exam because he had a learning disability and was not proficient in the language.
However, never did I ever allow him to think that he was incapable of learning or understanding material in my classroom.”
In fact, in 2006, when I was teaching a weak class in a rural school, I experimented with a programme I devised called GROW.
·G for Group teaching where I separated my students in groups according to their learning abilities and taught them separately;
·R for the group to Relax, play and learn where I used various forms of games to give them rest periods between bouts of learning (due to their short attention spans, I never taught them for more than 15 minutes at a time);
·O for Oral questioning techniques and Outdoor learning to stay relevant, generate variety and boost self-confidence; and
·W — the Whatever Works approach (role play, video clips, NiE, cartoon-filled worksheets, art, music) to kindle interest and motivate.
If my teaching was transformational, it was because I gave these students a sense of self-worth and achievement they didn’t have before.
Till today, I cannot forget the 14-year-old Chinese boy who couldn’t speak good English or write a decent sentence in Malay, but could explain perfectly in bahasa pasar how river water is converted into tap water.
Then there was the Indian boy who stuttered when he spoke but could tell me orally, yet correctly, half in Tamil and half in Malay that photosynthesis is the process by which a plant like sugar cane makes sugar in the sun.
My focus was on learning — their learning — and in whatever form it took, I accepted the outcome.
Sometimes, I was astounded by their answers. As Science students, they were intelligent, curious and interested — they just didn’t have language skills to match or the ability to remember massive facts for exams.
So, to these young teachers going forth to serve the nation, when you are teaching for Malaysia, you just put your shoulder to the wheel and do whatever it takes to strive, survive and triumph.
To beat the odds, you have to seek wisdom from the experienced and learn from your own daily teaching sessions. One particular memory that stands out for me is of the pint-sized Form Two boy, who cried: “Teacher, how will I learn without you? Please don’t go.”
As Wendy Kopp, the founder of Teach For America, puts it in her book A Change to Make History, “highly effective teachers are a massive lever for influencing the achievement gap.”
I think so too. Give a child a good teacher and you make all the difference.
___________________________________________
it's been quite a time i haven't read Teacher Talk after my last post about it in this blog! ^__^
it's the second Friday i'm home. frankly speaking, i found that my life is like empty.. empty what? hm... tasteless cotton-candy? why cotton-candy? b'coz i've got clouds portrayed in my mind. ^__^
last nite, i posted about this second Friday at facebook in my beloved group at the campus, one of them commented to not mention about the limited time we've at home. ^__^ then, i emotionally commented back to not mentioning about those uniform unit we're gonna be in next sem/year. *freakin' out* ok. i was thinking selfishly to protect my own feelings from being disappointed? ha. ha. laugh. oit~ SOQ. ok. :) for that sister i mentioned her name in that selfish comment, hontouni gomennasai~ bianata~ am very sorry. hu. is she reading this entry anyway? =.=" uniform unit. ain't telling ya what did i get. ha. but, i didn't get my first choice; KRS. and ain't talkin' bout this as the main issue in this entry since i'm trying hard to get over those negative feelings i got - knowing the uniform i'm gonna wear in 2012 and retrieving words i said at the moment my friends and i were choosing the unit in the previous month/s.
tasteless cotton-candy. why? it seems tempting when u see it. nevertheless, it's tasteless when it touch ur tongue taste buds. hah-ha. so that my current life. i think it does look interesting from outside, yet i don't feel anything good here. deng! am actually wanna wrap up my 2011 as trainee teacher! OK. back to the main issue. *serious*
2 semesters in a year. 2 examinations. twice went to school for SBE. two different states i'd been soaked in. states; emotions.
huh! am wordless to describe the two semesters.
ah-ha! deng! why that cognitive theory came into my mind?! 2 examinations. the exam in the first semester, i did marathon in revising those subjects for exams. i had four papers in the first exam. i called it marathon although when my friends were discussing, i was sleeping soundly in their bed. second exam, ain't calling the revision i made with my beloved partner as marathon, b'coz, alhamdulillah, i managed to start revising the first two papers earlier just few days earlier anyway than the eleventh hour. that's an improvement for me. ^-^ and i only had three papers. and i had a not-so-good experience before the last paper. ok. three subjects, the first paper was about one week earlier than the other two. the next two papers had only about 24 hours gap. after the second paper, when i was about to revise for the last subject, my head was like full i tell ya! full. i felt the front part of my brain was overloaded. thus, i couldn't revise with my study partner. i just listened to her words reading the notes, understanding the notes. it's been a long time i haven't got the full-loaded-state of my brain. but, alhamdulillah, after few hours listening to her, my brain gave me opportunity to revise!
that's all about my examination... hm. now?
mangrove planting. hah. i'd two.. or three? experiences planting the mangrove plants! ^-^ i'm lovin' it. being an MC... i found that ain't recovered yet from that fear of being a chairperson. hu. i think, i want to get rid of that fear soon. until when should i be prison in that emotion trap right? hu. we'll see.. we'll see...
E1T1/EOTO... i just wanted to visit those Jeven and others.. but, hm.. i really want to see their smiles again. do activities with them again! ^-^ have the passion of being a teacher cultivated in me? ^-^ hope so!
finally i got things to be smiled of! of? should it be at? o yeah~
ok. 5 weeks left for this semester break. can u please remember me in ur du'a to make me stronger in mujahadah everyday? :)
2011.
realized me; ain't a good friend. ain't a good mate.
realized me; silence isn't good to fix a relationship. it's just worsen and destroying it.
realized me; devildemons actually is in me. silence is just adding reactivity of them.
realized me; silence actually that hurts me. not others.
realized me; to be aware of my weaknesses!
haish!
and yet, 2011, motivates me to do good next year! okeh.
btw, 1432 is already READY to leave us. T.T am gonna be 22 before Ramadhan in 1433. am old!
T^T let's do our best to be productive!
will this spirit maintain or be persistent?
let's strive and pray!
jaa~ ;)
if in the 8th entry, i felt like putting down my head on a table and won't look around anymore, currently feeling is that i'll just sit on my chair and put both hands on the table and just looking around. i think i don't wanna move. move here is not meant to change, but to react to those disturbances. yes. i'm. a. jerk. uhf. yet, i wanna be loving. ^-^"

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

12th : what a day.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

By (the Token of) Time (through the ages), Verily Man is in loss, Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. (surah 103, Al-'Asr: 1-3)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Have We not expanded thee thy breast?-And removed from thee thy burden The which did gall thy back?- And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard, And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention. (Surah 94, Al-Inshirah: 1-8)


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

:D i've typed the phrase in arabic font!! :)

what a day.

it's the other half of 2nd semester of degree.

my weakness of this semester that still isn't be cured is LAZY or ELEVENTH HOUR habit.

if in foundation years, i submitted my assignments late but still on the deadline, in this first year of my degree study, i'd submitted one day late. okay. this is not the first time. ain't proud of it by typing it in this blog, i know i'm like intentionally telling the whole world 'bout my bad side.
yes. AM intentionally write this outta here. it's for me so that i WON'T REPEAT this repeated mistake again. so that, next time i will be writing, I'M DONE WITH MY ASSIGNMENT ONE WEEK EARLIER! oh. how i wish i will be telling ya that!

know what, i'd tried my best to do those things i mentioned above earlier. i even been wet with the water from my eyes because of the mind stuck i could not type even a word after reading the materials from many sources, after been discussing with my circumstances.... u'd know how it felt? nah if u never gone thru it. yada. AM EXPLAINING things. why should i explain these to you? naah. i just wanna let this out of my mind and so it will be a force for me to take an action for the better move. deny. deny. deny.

today i just feel like tonnes of load have been removed from my shoulder. uhf. yet there're more loads waiting to be loaded in the trucks for this shoulder. i pray that i will be tough enough to hold this load.

SBE. did i ever tell ya here about my school-based experience?

okay. today i feel like typing it.

the first experience was in the previous March.
the fate was that i arrived late at school every morning. only on the last day, i managed to reach the school 5 minutes earlier than the school time. that week, it was fated that my mother was not home... as the only eldest child and a sister, i was like replace my mother. heh. i wasn't replacing her, just do some of the routine that usually done by mother. my routine that week was: woke up-drove the younger brothers to school-went to the school for my SBE-fetch the brothers-return home after got something for lunch-self service-ready for dinner-things to be done for SBE-alpha wave... this routine.. what i can say, it's tiring. that week, i was quite exhausted. ha. ha. i was like, how would i be in the future? and, mother is very tough at heart...

the second experience was last week.
if in March i drove and fetch my younger brothers who're in primary school, this time i'd be a driver to my younger brothers in secondary schools. but this time, i only sent both of them and only fetch them when i needed to do so. this was due to the different school-timing.... i could return home at 1.15p.m, and the two brothers only can go back about at 4. (what was more excruciating that they must be in the school at 7.45a.m. and i at 7.30a.m.) i wouldn't wait! of course... yada. selfish. and yet i'd to fetch mother and those at the primary school.
this time, the routine is not persistent like the March one. hu. and, praise be to Allah that my time used was more efficient than the previous one. =) i managed to had a plan for SBE... hm. only that part is okay. the mood wasn't that pleasant. i was bored of the school routine... that was also one of my feedback to the headmaster on the last day of SBE. his respond was, "how are you gonna be a teacher in the future?" and yes, i was asking myself that question too! my resolution for this inquiry is that, purify my intention. i'm a muslim. i know what i'm doing.
on the last day, that school held Majlis Restu Ilmu for standard 6 pupils. yada, those standard 6 pupils have finished their UPSR examination today. almost all teachers involved in the ceremony. thus, my SBE friends and i had to relief class for a while until that thing end. i was given a standard 2 class to be taken care of. but the class i was supposed to be in that time got a teacher in there. so i went out and went to the next class... there's no teacher... so, i stayed there. they're so naughty, mischievous, hyperactive.... only 5 girls in the class. the rest are boys. phew~ the experience with them, made me to think about staying in the profession deeper... i couldn't even control them. yeah. i only managed to keep them in the class... hu. hu. i watched them playing around... talked to some of them... hm. where's the fire?
things i learnt in lecture hours couldn't be applied in the situation last week. it just didn't work out. i tried to use some of my knowledge, but it didn't effective for everyone in the class. and i realized that i just unintentionally ignored the girls since they were in control.

i'm questioning myself, what kind of human will i produce through my teaching?