72nd : this won't be the ending.

ah.

well.

i planned to post an ending post for this blog before 2014 ends.

well. i failed to be consistent in accomplishing my plans.

therefore,

i will be updating this blog til.... when?

til i've got a place in school.

alhamdulillah.

i've passed my SPP interview.

alhamdulillah.

the exam result of the final sem is out. what's the good about the result, alhamdulillah.
i aimed to get the flat for the 8th sem, and i didn't get the flat, yet it's the highest pointer in the eight semesters i've gone through. alhamdulillah. nevertheless, i'm afraid if this result is a test for me. T_T
yes, my CGPA is not that high, though. ^_^

therefore, now, am kinda waiting to be posted for teaching.

maybe, my final post in this blog will be entitled with the state i'd be posted. haha.

ok. till then.

71st : just another baby step!

i went to the unit today to see my supervisor.

i was about leaving the room, a lecturer who observed me in sem 6 voiced out,

"sufiyyah, why are you wearing different colours??"

hahaha! only at that moment, i realised that and i felt embarrassed. hahaha!!

RED scarf.
FLUORESCENT GREEN t-shirt.
KHAKI trousers.
YELLOW-PINK-BLUE stripes socks.
BLUE canvas shoes.
YELLOW bag.

well.

madam, thanks for your concern. i'm touched. :')

at the same time, the Head of Language Department was there. oh. he remembered my name! my nickname! haha! yes, i am so happy!! :D so happy that i can't stop smiling and grinning and laughing remembering what had happened! OMG. haha.

kay.

still need to edit my report for the final time. aaaaaa!

yosh!

70th : death.

THERE’S been a death in the opposite house
As lately as to-day.
I know it by the numb look
Such houses have alway.
The neighbors rustle in and out,	5
The doctor drives away.
A window opens like a pod,
Abrupt, mechanically;
Somebody flings a mattress out,—
The children hurry by;	10
They wonder if It died on that,—
I used to when a boy.
The minister goes stiffly in
As if the house were his,
And he owned all the mourners now,	15
And little boys besides;
And then the milliner, and the man
Of the appalling trade,
To take the measure of the house.
There ’ll be that dark parade	20
Of tassels and of coaches soon;
It ’s easy as a sign,—
The intuition of the news
In just a country town.

by: Emily Dickinson.

p/s: need to learn to react with condolence towards this kind of news. 

am i cruel to give respond like i am feelingless? 

69th : near.

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

am very near to the end of my final semester of my final year of my study. ^_^

praise be to Allah.

i was like not as busy as my friends who were in-charge in the organizing committee for the seminar.

i was like as slow as a snail in improving my write-up of my report.

i was like not confident like i did not do anything for my research.

yet, i was grateful for all kind-hearted and helpful people, especially lecturers around me. ^_^

coming back to the campus after the mid-sem break, i brought a blazer with me. i borrowed it from my mother. then, today, i brought it to the class. finally, during the presentation, i didn't wear it. i was not confident. ^_^"

reflecting on weeks before the mid-sem break, there were six Saturdays; my classmates and i didn't have our real Saturday. why? because of the A.R.

hi! i was the last presenter of my class.

while other friends from other classes were attending the closing ceremony for our action research seminar at 4.30 p.m., i was just beginning my presentation. ^_^ 

after the seminar ended, my friends and i went to Perda City Mall!!

we found....

tamiya 4WD. car. race. interesting!

there'll be a tournament at Perda City Mall. on this coming Saturday. (i'm interested to go and look around. to observe. hm...)

yeah. i enjoy knowing new things. thanks to my friends for accompanying me to ask to those misters to demonstrate the tamiya car on the circuit. :D

i want to know more about this activity. yes. really.

my friends and i were aware that this tamiya car were the car models used in schools for Kemahiran Hidup subject.

if this kind of activity can benefit the students, why not i encourage my students in the future who has interest in this kind of activity or have skills related to this tamiya thingy to join this movement? isn't it? ^_^

thus, that's it.

tomorrow, am gonna listen to integrity speech. hmm...

68th : stupidity.

stupidity; when you asked someone who cannot decide but yell to you after decision made

stupidity; when you do things right and nobody's there to support you

stupidity; when you do listen to everyone, yet nobody ever listens to you

stupidity; when you sacrifice  your priceless time with nothing benefits you physically

stupidity; to get tired by silly negative thoughts of moron fella

stupidity; to be fear of others' devillish wits

stupidity; to care for somebody and you're dying unconsciously

stupidity; to rawr silently to things you have the right to roar!

genius; to be ignorant forever and stagnant of own's negative satanic side of own's self.

67th : final Ramadhan here is gonna end.

another 9 days left for internship. i really can't wait for the end of internship. yet, i still need to improve my very best.

by the end of today, i want to let the sad me go off me.

i can't resist the frustration to visit me today. T^Tv

it's hard to please people, aite?

and yes. i need to make myself clear.

what i've done was not to please people. i have clear aims and objectives for that particular matter. please read my proposal! T^T

as well as my AR. the very rare thinking style of me. but, is it wrong?

maybe, it's just me who's being over-sensitive today.

maybe, i was over confident.

and at least, she spoke to me. not on her facebook status or any social apps status. *feeling determined*

kay.

ramadhan kareem, everyone.

66th: happy revision week!

practicum matters. i have other things to do regarding practicum. the portfolio. yada. it's already third week i'd finished practicum.

for the first time, i felt very bad of ending the practicum.
even though this third practicum, i received more gifts from the pupils, i don't feel right.

the  principal was emphasizing on our contributions to school in the three months we're there.

i feel worse when i couldn't find one contribution that is significant to the school.

it became worst when i found a comment by a teacher in the school on one senior's post on Facebook about no trainees better than them or could beat them so far.

yeah. i ain't looking for people's appreciation, but.. i can't help myself from feeling this bad.

this despair. dismay. demotivated.

i'm like lost.

next semester, am going to that same school again.

i feel... dumb.

i need guidance.

yes, ain't independent.

yes. i know, i need to search the information.

i pray that i'll be given the strength to do my best in the next semester and in the coming exam.

i need time to be alone.

duh.

the A.R. proposal.
hm. i just feel sorry to my supervisor because he got me as his supervisee. T_T

ah.

stop thinking in a weak heart's view.

stay strong.

and be happy.

^_^

this year gonna end.

just live it because am gonna leave it.

hah-ha.

and am gonna leave this blog too. that's the meaning.

oh. looking forward the briefing for e-posting. :D

ha-ha. that's another think to be thought seriously.

-_-"

so serious seriously!

fullstop!

65th: final week in the campus.

there's KAPEL 2.0 going on. in this campus. am attending one event tonite. insya Allah. =D

finishing one assignment. and gladly to write here, alhamdulillah, i've finished my part! ^_^

even though i'm done, i feel uncomfortable. not satisfied with my works. ~_~ that leceh me inside. i wish i can go to a library with relevant reference. i wish. i wish. and i keep wishing!

nervy to go to school next week.

and my A.R progress is very slow.
i need to read more.
i do want to read.
stress.

practicum.
mister, please don't put your expectations too high. i'm afraid that i will fall and hurt badly because of my failure to achieve your expectations. T_T i don't wanna be in that excruciating pain of dissapointment. no. :'[

the minor subject that i like the most; i'm afraid now. am scared to teach that subject. ~_~

final year.
seemed that i haven't prepared that much.
this fourth week, that fragile me returned. T_T

allahu yusahhil everyone! ^_^

let's go to school. hm.