12th : what a day.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

By (the Token of) Time (through the ages), Verily Man is in loss, Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. (surah 103, Al-'Asr: 1-3)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Have We not expanded thee thy breast?-And removed from thee thy burden The which did gall thy back?- And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard, And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention. (Surah 94, Al-Inshirah: 1-8)


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

:D i've typed the phrase in arabic font!! :)

what a day.

it's the other half of 2nd semester of degree.

my weakness of this semester that still isn't be cured is LAZY or ELEVENTH HOUR habit.

if in foundation years, i submitted my assignments late but still on the deadline, in this first year of my degree study, i'd submitted one day late. okay. this is not the first time. ain't proud of it by typing it in this blog, i know i'm like intentionally telling the whole world 'bout my bad side.
yes. AM intentionally write this outta here. it's for me so that i WON'T REPEAT this repeated mistake again. so that, next time i will be writing, I'M DONE WITH MY ASSIGNMENT ONE WEEK EARLIER! oh. how i wish i will be telling ya that!

know what, i'd tried my best to do those things i mentioned above earlier. i even been wet with the water from my eyes because of the mind stuck i could not type even a word after reading the materials from many sources, after been discussing with my circumstances.... u'd know how it felt? nah if u never gone thru it. yada. AM EXPLAINING things. why should i explain these to you? naah. i just wanna let this out of my mind and so it will be a force for me to take an action for the better move. deny. deny. deny.

today i just feel like tonnes of load have been removed from my shoulder. uhf. yet there're more loads waiting to be loaded in the trucks for this shoulder. i pray that i will be tough enough to hold this load.

SBE. did i ever tell ya here about my school-based experience?

okay. today i feel like typing it.

the first experience was in the previous March.
the fate was that i arrived late at school every morning. only on the last day, i managed to reach the school 5 minutes earlier than the school time. that week, it was fated that my mother was not home... as the only eldest child and a sister, i was like replace my mother. heh. i wasn't replacing her, just do some of the routine that usually done by mother. my routine that week was: woke up-drove the younger brothers to school-went to the school for my SBE-fetch the brothers-return home after got something for lunch-self service-ready for dinner-things to be done for SBE-alpha wave... this routine.. what i can say, it's tiring. that week, i was quite exhausted. ha. ha. i was like, how would i be in the future? and, mother is very tough at heart...

the second experience was last week.
if in March i drove and fetch my younger brothers who're in primary school, this time i'd be a driver to my younger brothers in secondary schools. but this time, i only sent both of them and only fetch them when i needed to do so. this was due to the different school-timing.... i could return home at 1.15p.m, and the two brothers only can go back about at 4. (what was more excruciating that they must be in the school at 7.45a.m. and i at 7.30a.m.) i wouldn't wait! of course... yada. selfish. and yet i'd to fetch mother and those at the primary school.
this time, the routine is not persistent like the March one. hu. and, praise be to Allah that my time used was more efficient than the previous one. =) i managed to had a plan for SBE... hm. only that part is okay. the mood wasn't that pleasant. i was bored of the school routine... that was also one of my feedback to the headmaster on the last day of SBE. his respond was, "how are you gonna be a teacher in the future?" and yes, i was asking myself that question too! my resolution for this inquiry is that, purify my intention. i'm a muslim. i know what i'm doing.
on the last day, that school held Majlis Restu Ilmu for standard 6 pupils. yada, those standard 6 pupils have finished their UPSR examination today. almost all teachers involved in the ceremony. thus, my SBE friends and i had to relief class for a while until that thing end. i was given a standard 2 class to be taken care of. but the class i was supposed to be in that time got a teacher in there. so i went out and went to the next class... there's no teacher... so, i stayed there. they're so naughty, mischievous, hyperactive.... only 5 girls in the class. the rest are boys. phew~ the experience with them, made me to think about staying in the profession deeper... i couldn't even control them. yeah. i only managed to keep them in the class... hu. hu. i watched them playing around... talked to some of them... hm. where's the fire?
things i learnt in lecture hours couldn't be applied in the situation last week. it just didn't work out. i tried to use some of my knowledge, but it didn't effective for everyone in the class. and i realized that i just unintentionally ignored the girls since they were in control.

i'm questioning myself, what kind of human will i produce through my teaching?

11th : new definitions of a teacher

New Definitions of a Teacher (Tony Buzan)

1. reducing the pain of stupidity
mengurangkan sakitnya digelar orang bodoh

2. main provider of the intellectual capital of the nation and the world
pemberi utama kepada modal intelektual kepada negara dan dunia

3. mining the 99% of untapped potential
menggali baki 99% potensi yang tidak disentuh

4. provides the main stimulus & nutrition for developing the physical architecture for the students brain
menjadi pemangkin dan sumber untuk perkembangan fizikal kepada seni bina minda pelajarnya

5. protector of the physical & mental health of the students
pelindung kepada kesihatan fizikal dan mental pelajarnya

6. helps the students to build palaces of its potential perfect memory
membantu pelajar membina kamar-kamar di dalam istana minda bagi mendapatkan keupayaan daya ingatan yang sempurna

7. the provider of the correct formulae that allows the inate natural potential for brilliance to grow & flower
pemberi kepada formula yang betul yang membenarkan laluan kepada potensi kecerdasan hidup subur

8. rare privilege of being able to act as a prime role-model for the students
keistimewaan yang langka untuk menjadi model ikutan kepada pelajar

9. person responsible for launching the students' lifelong learning journey
insan yang bertanggungjawab melancarkan pelajarnya ke platform menimba ilmu yang berpanjangan
10. helps launch the child on the exploration of its own internal universalsmembantu pelajarnya meneroka keupayaan minda sendiri
11. provider of worthwhile daydreams and shepherd who helps the students make it come truememberi angan-angan bermakna dan membimbing pelajarnya merealisasikan angan-angan itu.
credit goes to: http://annyss.blogspot.com/2009/05/guru-definisi-baharu.html
it's a responsibility. R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.I.L.I.T.Y.

10th : it's great

life is wonderful. :)

what to say?

two weeks ago; March 3rd, 2011, we had KOT (Kejohanan Olahraga Tahunan) at our campus. my sports team, Dinamik got the third place. but, we were the champion for the marching. :D (i know my language is bad!) and i was very happy! ^-^ since last year i was hoping to win the marching. :D i love marching anyway. :)

four days later, my classmates and another class went to Kem Sg. Batu Besi, Merbok for BIG (Bina Insan Guru / Bina Insan Gelap) :D i enjoyed this camping very well. oh.

alhamdulillah. :) all praises to Allah. :)

on the first day, we built up our tents. three tents; 2 for ladies and 1 for men. there're 15 men and 26 ladies excluding our trainers and lecturers and tutors. :D lecturers and trainers and tutors got different tents from us. :) when others were building up the tents, i got nothing to do. wohohoho. so, i helped for other small parts of building up tents. :) for example take 'pancang' for them and hold the rope. :)
after asar prayer, we went to the river! o yeah! watering time! ha. ha. water confident. i remembered my experience at Kem Tok Sakah during our first semester in foundation. to compare the experience in Tok Sakah and Sg. Batu Besi, it's much much much better at Sg. Batu Besi. :) i don't know why (oh. one in a million is playing in my ears). :D i could float very well in the water. :) it's an accomplishment! :D
at night, we'd LDK with our lecturer. hm. about saying thank you. expressing our gratitude. :) appreciating others. :) that's how to be a good teacher and human. :) knowing others. ta'aruf. ta'aruf is on progress every second right? :)
o yeah. tazkirah maghrib. events in Rabi'ul awwal. do you remember? me? no. i don't really remember. i just remember maulidurrasul, the day rasulullah passed away and hijrah to Madinah. really made my heart... hm... like my heart was pinched. ^.^"
i was on duty for guarding the camp site at 0300-0530.

second day, kayaking. :) i love this too! :) however, this time, i was quite weak and not so spirit to 'drive' kayak. then, we'd to find a partner. all men must got a female partner. one of us couldn't kayak. so, 5 couples should be the females. hm. i got a male partner. during the camp at Tok Sakah, i was with my female classmate. :) then, she was sick of of the sea. haha. in the middle of the sea. then, one of the lecturers replaced her. i was quite relax that time because the lecturer got more energy! haha. for this BIG, i paddled well. i sat in front. so, i was the co-pilot. but, i think i was leading the kayaking. he. i think i was the one gave out the direction to paddle. hm. i felt the guilt, but he didn't willing to say this "kiri, kanan, kiri..." out. :) okay. there's too many 'but' here.
after kayaking, as usual we got reflection. my personal reflection was about communicating clearly and explicitly. haha. why? when i was in the kayak, if no one said "kiri kanan kiri" out loud, how can we paddle the kayak together? :) our paddle would be "ktung" "ktang" each other. :) as well as in our daily life, if we don't communicate clearly each other, there would be many misunderstandings. :) communicate clearly also got a condition where the communicators must be willing to listen to others as well. :)
in the afternoon, we supposed to have orienteering. however, the rahmah was raining over the land we're staying on. :) so, we'd activities using ropes. :)
maghrib. tazkirah. tazkirah subuh, i didn't attend it because i was in the kitchen; cooking for our breakfast. i didn't cook at all. haha. maghrib tazkirah. hm. parents' advices. do we really turn their advices into actions? checklist. T.T
then, LDK with our camp commander. we sang songs. hu. hu. with actions. then sleep.

third day, kembara bakau! mangrove walk? he. he. we'd to relate the mangrove ecology with school as an organization. this time, again i compared thee to the experience at Kem Tok Sakah. yeah. i was too proud with my experience. hah. initially, the lecturer brought us walking on the usual land. some of my friends and i were complaining, "ini je? xbest nya..." after a while, the lecturer brought us into the mangrove swamp. ho. ho. ho. the mud was really thick and sticky! o yeah. then i just felt the trials. serve me right. most of our feet got into the mud until our knee level. ^.^ don't be proud of our experience. different experience brings different effects in our life. :)
o yeah. subuh reminder. syahadah. pronouncing our syahadah correctly, knowing the meaning and the claims of it. again, the other me was crying.
in the afternoon, after lunch, we destroyed our tents. hu. it's due to the raining days. if we deconstruct them on the next day, it would be late for us to make sure they dry well. at night, we'd Cultural Night. haha. i mean, 'Malam Kebudayaan'.

March 10th, 2011, last day! o yeah! clean and clear the sites! :) returned to the campus~ T.T

March 11th, 2011, last day at the campus! presented literature assignment. i was no feeling at all doing the presentation. hm. Marxist literary theory. Barn Burning by William Faulkner. this uncle... huh. however, i quite enjoyed reading Marxism and Barn Burning.

o yeah. i haven't finish the essay yet! come on self!

11032011, 10.00p.m. - additional bus trip from Shamisha co. back to the hometown. :)

before KOT, there's one of my classmates had given me advices. know what, it's been one year and half, there's no one ever talk to me about my bad attitudes. but, that day, i got it. i really appreciate it dear my sister. that's one of my point registering myself into the institute. being in the institute, we're always reminded about ourselves. being a good person, teacher. to be loving. :)

gambatte ne!

9th : foundation years end.

after nearly a week, i've returned home, i remember the campus back. laugh at me.

when i look at hills, i say, 'beautiful'. another me says, 'i can see these amazing creatures there'.

when i hear others talking, 'English people are bla3.. bla3...'. another me says, 'i've learnt about them there'.

comparing between being at home and there.

and, guess what, one day; 24 hours after i returned, i texted my tutor telling her that i already home.
one, i once acted rude to her. i still can feel the sins strangling my soul. two, my beloved SS lecturer knew about my early homecoming, it's just unfair to my tutor. she should know first and know from me, not others.

one week has passed already. the extra days for my break.

this time, the break is much different from the previous. why? my classmates and i don't have extra homework from our lecturers! what a relief. grr.

my English is not really good and becomes rusty these days. grr.

thus, the extra work for us is to improve ourselves.

less reading. less writing. less talking. less listening. in English. really gonna kill me next year.

therefore, i've to read, write, talk (this is hard here -.-), and listen in English more.

all the best. :)

8th : FAQs.

FAQs? F. A. Q. stands for?
wait a. i google for it.
frequently asked questions. when i go back to my hometown. or meet people that had has been in my life before. he.
1. where are you studying?
me: IPG.... bla3... kampus bla3... pulau pinang... bukit mertajam, seberang perai... near kulim. refer: 1st entry
2. your course?
me: TESL pendidikan rendah. not flying. in Mareshia.
in heart: shame. shame. my speaking is not that good-as everyone expects for TESLians yet.
currently: insya Allah until degree if i pass my foundation year...
3. how many years?
me: 5 years and half; foundation year: 1 year and half, degree: 4 years.
currently: insya Allah. if i manage to pass in the end of this year...
*cinta hakiki is playing*
4. do you get allowance? scholarship or loan? how much?
me: yada. i do. scholar... maybe. but if we finish our studies, we need not to pay lah. -.- P&C
currently: where can i get hundred thousands of RM to pay back to the govt eh?

5. before that you were at APIUM, right?
me: yup. just a month. exactly a month. June 8th i registered. July 8th i 'checked out'. and 2nd intake student.
in heart: clicks? pain?
*dunia baru islam is playing*
F.U.R. frequently unasked responses. ;p
1. teacher gonna be la ni...
me: insya Allah.
*song of innocence is playing*
2. sure tere speaking ni... you can teach me English lah...
me: no lah. insya Allah.
in heart: ilmu kena kuasai! T.T
3. like medical students... lama.
me: oh. ha a.
in heart: i won't feel that neglected la when i grad in future. they grad, i grad. he.
*tekad is playing*
4. whoa~
me: that money we used for... not going anywhere pun...
in heart: clicks? pain? oucha...
currently: teachers in other countries used their own money to get their certificates...
5. why?
me: many versions of story... ;p
later; when i checked my journal, i was hoping to pass the interview. '__'
*healing is playing*
- surely you have many break~ school holidays!
me: no lah.
- o yes. there are many school holidays.
me: yada. but i can't visit my school when i go back for my break. like U students. furthermore my study place has diff weekend-days with my own state.
in heart: i think that's better b'coz i can avoid visiting them at that place...? =.= mixed feelings.
*will you hate me is playing*
- you have job opportunity and assurance (?.?).
me: smile.
in heart: taqdir is His hand. the future is His right.
*kasih sayang is playing*
other FAQs;
- is the course hard?
me: quite hard la. moreover, like my institute, we're the first batch. bla3....
currently: there's no easy things la. we ourselves must be patient and never give up...

-----------------------------------------------

my comments? hurnm. University students got a straight two-three-five months break~ :D

*dunia baru islam is playing* again.

nothing much.

am i really want to be a teacher?

ain't that passionate. kot.

my other self wants to be a teacher.

because she know her aims well.

she's clear about her vision.

me?

feel like things i want aren't here, the place i'm standing now.

*khabar iman is playing*

this 3rd sem, quite ups and down like a tsunami wave lah.

if it's illustrated in a graph, the graph is fluctuated. -.-

and until now before the raya break, i wasn't that energetic to make it a gradually increasing graph.

bintang yang dilangit pun berguguran...

giving up?

no supporting antibiotics?

inadequate supplements?

feeling like putting my head on the table and won't look around anymore.

ibu kehilangan anak dikandungan...

hm. no doubt that i'd learned many things through this 1 year.

hm. but the sweetness is getting bitter day by day...

and yet i love Atticus. falling in love with Atticus Finch.

*song of innocence* again.

;p this entry has no cohesion at all. ;p

hope that i will do good in my final in next nine weeks.

self, PUSH and ASAP.

smile.

26. All that is on earth will perish:
27. But will abide (for ever) the Face of thy Lord,- full of Majesty, Bounty and Honour.
28. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
29. Of Him seeks (its need) every creature in the heavens and on earth: every day in (new) Splendour doth He (shine)!
30. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
31. Soon shall We settle your affairs, O both ye worlds!
32. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

Surah 55. Ar-Rahman (The Beneficent, The Mercy Giving)

7th : have a look.

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/201/c/0/Because_he_is_a_muslim____by_Nayzak.swf

credit to k.ummu. :)

6th : EOTO / E1T1.

just came back from Seberang Jaya for Each One Teach One programme. it's a volunteer programme and i am one of the voluntary teachers.
although the programme is called as Each 1 Teach 1, the thing is not really like that. hah.
last week was my first time teaching those needy students. needy here, doesn't mean they're that poor, but it does seem like that.(argh! i don't know) they live in flat houses; 20 above floors. (urgh. i'm stuck. where are my words!!) in the previous week, i went there with two friends; Israa and Liza. today, i managed to go there alone. i had to go because i had promised two kids to make their family tree. i made family house though. haha.
it's not easy as ABC's. i was the only volunteer came for today. thus, i had to control all of them instead of two kids i'd taught last week. luckily i'd one extra manila card.
but then, there were more of them came. o my. i was like... what's gonna happen now? i am not that capable dealing with primary school students.
okayh.

no more sentences for this entry.
omo... just pray for me to memorise my script for Macbeth dramatisation soon. wargh~ i'm freaking out. what is more, i'm gonna be a debater for Bahasa Melayu in a debate competition very soon too. =.=

look at the pictures below. please leave your comments. ^.^
video is deleted for certain reasons.

thank you!