43rd : let this be the ending entry...

the ending entry for 2012. :)

alhamdulillah.

we got our exam result before we enter the new semester. :)

alhamdulillah. it was the first time i cried looking at my exam result ever. yes. as far as i remember, i never cry over my exam result in my life. maybe if i cried, it's few months or years later.

2012.

the sweet.

the sour.

the bitter.

i pray that next semester, the very semester 5, will educate me. will train me. will lead me towards being a better person. a better daughter. a better trainee. a better junior. a better senior. a better roommate. a better sister, younger or elder. a better student. a better friend. a better mate. the most important is a better servant of Him.

i just realised i whined and sighed a lot thru the two semesters in 2012. :']

so, this is how am going to end the post for 2012 in this blog.

i don't want to wish for happier moments nor unstressful times because thru this 2012 i felt those and without i realise those that made me strong inside and widen my heart capacity. :) those made me mature at thinking i guess. what is more, those taught me to keep my faith in Allah. because there was no place i could hold for a long period other than Him. He's forever.

so, i wish you, whoever you are reading this entry to have better year of making yourself a better person ahead! :)

may 2012 had brought us closer to Allah.
may 2012 had made us grateful.
may 2012 had taught us to be wiser. 
may 2013 have better unknown promises for us;
         that will make us turning back to it at the end of the year
         smiling =)

welcome myself to new room! -_-"

42nd : idl.

idl. i don't like. haha.

breathe in. breathe out. repeat three times. then say, alhamdulillah. :)

three years and half has passed. i am suddenly feel scared. afraid. hu-hu.

two years left. two years to go. 4 semesters.

there're few things about this type of campus life. or as written on the blue and black shirts sold, IPG life.

the first thing i would like to avoid when meeting people is to talk about parents. specifically about parents' jobs. ha-ha. because, it's normally, when people asked me or already knew me studying in IPG, when they found that my parents are in education sector of this country too, they expected-ly responded, "ikut mak ayah la ni..." (follow parents' steps...) and you yourself reading this entry would be saying that, aite?
i just be more annoyed when people know about my father, they would respond, "no wonder..." (patutlah...) i just don't like it.

i have my own reasons for being annoyed.

number one. my parents NEVER offer me studying in IPG. it's my own effort. yeah. i just knew about IPG that time through my friends. thanks to them. i also got to know about IPG via my sweet sisters (not biological sister) after SPM that time (2009). to have the courage applying for it was my own decision. yes. am telling you, my parents never force me. they know what was my ambition that time. my father even offered me something for me to further in the ambition i wanted to. it's my decision. after all.

number two. i did write in the application forms about my parents working in the education sector. it's just to give flavours into the  essay, i would say. no. i don't choose to be here because my parents are working in the sector. no. i was even afraid to be in this sector (now i'm even annoyed) because i was afraid about people stereotyping about children-parents thingy. when the parents are accountant, people tend to expect the children will inherit the business or the accounting brain of their parents.

number three. i have my dream. beautiful dream for choosing this road not taken by people around me. yeah. ^_^

next, about the IPG name. when people ask me, "where are you studying?"

definitely my short answer is, "IPG."

they usually reply me the words below,

"oo.. maktab..." (did i say that? -.-")

"what?" (ok. people don't know about us...)

and yes. am annoyed. ha-ha.

when they reply me "what?" i just have to reply these,

generally: "IPG stands for Institut Pendidikan Guru.."

specifically: "IPG Kampus Tuanku Bainun..."

hearing my specific answer, i usually get this answer, 

"oo.. kat Perak eh?"

i will just have to quickly correct them, "no. in Bukit Mertajam, Pulau Pinang... (adding: not the one in island)"

adoi. complicated.


why i feel annoyed about people replying me "maktab" answer?

that would be because we are now IPG. no M behind G. no maktab maktab anymore. most of our lecturers, especially them who're in Research and Innovation Department too very annoyed when people keep mentioning our college as "maktab". hu-hu. it's all about developing the education system in this country. if you know. so, i'm supporting and to show appreciation to them and myself, i use IPG. but, somehow, i just have to use that word to make it short for people to know me. huk3.

this issue just made my brain got this thought: people don't know about us. the education system.

but, they know (are aware) we got allowance. sigh.

41st : let's continue.

it's just a little more about electrics and electronis.
honestly, i haven't done my revision on the RBT course. =.="

but, here is another video on our electronics project.

domestic  wiring. ah-ha.

just like in finishing our wooden project, when i felt myself like useless that i couldn't chase others in finishing the works in a fast way, i will scream. yeah. this is true story. i scream in the middle of the noisy bengkel. ^_^ i think i've written before, i wasn't that patient.

oh. i actually on my revision for LGA 3103. err.. but it happened that i wanted to check my FB and it's chained to youtube, then, here i am. updating this blog. dush!

so, in the previous week, when i was planning to celebrate my 'eid adha in Bukit Tembaga, my classmates and i got a call to go the bengkel to finish our domestic wiring practically. at the night before the day, i told myself that i must put the effort to be very patient. not to whine. no to sigh. be grateful. be thankful. say Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal (praise be to Allah for everything).

=) alhamdulillah, everything went well. i did finish mine with my partner. pity my partner for having a partner like me. the bossy. the impatient. fella. she's the one who recorded the video above! ha-ha. that's our success of the week! it's revision week and we got to attend class. ~_~

urm. that's all. may Allah bless. :)

40th : the hands on~

phew~ those documentation thingy. they're heavy, okay! heavy. HEAVY. H-E-A-V-Y. er. ok. fine. it has passed in such a beautiful moment. er. ain't regretting. :) alhamdulillah.

i still not going a level up. still with the green belt. :( i want red! i want red! i want RED! i want R-E-D!!!! :((

i never have experience in doing these pateri works or being in a KH bengkel. no. i never have such experience. and i found myself is very not patient doing these odd works. :(

after all the sighs, all the whines, all the heart tells the soul to istighfar after i screamed for being too slow in handling these electronics things. the LED is lighten up! ^_^

they are not easy, for me, i tell you. FOR ME. F-O-R M-E.

 

if this video can be played, this is the product! i was very hilarious happy! yeah. i once thought to be an engineer, but not to handle these machines-electrical-electronics things! i had once thought to be petroleum engineer. ahahaha! =.="

these are the goodies i got from the PELLTA workshop. RM50. RM5 paid by our beloved lecturer, Ms. Q. :) eheh. in INTI, Bukit Jambul. i love these. RED. they're R-E-D!!!

beautiful. lines. MEANINGFUL. as a muslim, what should we read everyday? guess... what is the manual of a muslim life? AL-QURAN AND SUNNAH. :) so, take our QURAN. READ THE QURAN. R-E-A-D.

i didn't realize that i own two scholastic books! :) the one on the right, is not finished yet.

:) i was like.. wow. professional.... ^_^

more electrical thingy coming in the next entry! ahah. 

please. it's Zulhijjah. and alhamdulillah, am not as sad as i was in the previous year. :)

39th : near to the end...

*listening to Dr. Danial's speech on Innocence of Muslim first part*

hm.


the course ended beautifully! hoh-ho. er. alhamdulillah. :)

alhamdulillah.

we also had done our postmortem in the afternoon today.

hm. yet, there's one more assessment which is oral assessment need to be done by next wednesday.

accreditation. salary. all the DG... whatsoever..

UAK. exams.

and i realized that i have overlooked some works on my shoulders. >.<

ok.

all the best.

38th : KP.

KP.

i can't say i never wish for that position because i don't know my heart.
i did wish for other organisation... not this one i tell you...

did you know how bad i reacted to the news once in the past year that i was going to be in that uniform unit? did u know?

did u know u had put me in the position i really hate in the first semester? 

did u know that i was annoyed that people telling me 'KAGUM' and 'KAGUM' for that i was going for that programme?

did u know i thanked Allah for giving such sweet memories, good experience in the programme?

did u know how i was excited to return to the campus to share with you my sweet memories and good experience to give your mind a little freedom and shift your paradigm and boost your motivation being in this group?

did u know i was annoyed when u once again put me in the position full of responsibilities?

did u know i was in frustration when we're not going for a camping instead of pentauliahan course because i think you won't learn something?

did u know my optimism faded away when some of you doubted me? questioned me like (itwaslikehell) u actually wanted to embarrass me in front of crowd?

did u know i am afraid that the way i think about you is wrong, but my heart can't deny the offended feeling?

did u know when the optimism disappeared i just can't help myself to coax my heart to not be hateful towards something i'm trying to like?

did u ever know to be responsible on something u did hate, did like, had sweet memories, end up with hatred again is VERY HARD?

it's hard because, do u know that doing things without sincerity is useless and will not be counted in your book when you are on the Judgement Day?????????

i don't want my hardwork, my time spent and those exhausted feelings i had gone through be wasted and useless.

can you understand?
would you try to understand?

self, will you get the answer here?
someday. maybe.

i pray that this will end quickly.
i pray that this will end without regret.
i really want to leave that group in facebook later, at least. because i just can't run from the reality.
i realized this causing me to be sick at feelings, sick at physical and yet, i know it should be strengthen spiritually.


.... some get it bad
some get it worse
life can sometimes look like a curse
so i cry my heart out 
let it all go....
- Outlandish

.... bukan bibir ini berbicara
namun jiwa ini berbahasa
dalam lamunan ku yakinkan 
kaulah teman kebahagiaan
Tuhan temukan ku penawar...
-Nur One

37th : the day of replacement.

er.
for your information, my batch which is PISMP January 2011 intake has to replace the day/s we got for Raya break since schools have to replace that day too and to fulfill our SBE requirement. =.= however, there's a campus i got to know that they don't have to replace their SBE day! what............!

so, i went to a school nearby this campus. not so near, it took, more or less about 15 minutes to arrive by car and if there's no traffic jammed.

so, the HM in that school was... strict. he. strict and very stick to the procedure which i felt unnecessary? >.<

hm. there're four more assignments to be submitted by tomorrow till this wednesday.

one is done.

one is half done.

one got only reflection to be done.

one is still quarter part done.

all the best!

below were my props for storytelling. >.< i think i didn't perform well. :( but, i did proud to be number one to perform. ha-ha. that proud me. :[